too much rest?

well, i am running the bases much better and though i am keeping the ankle brace on tight as i play, i am jogging short distances with happiness (jackson's dog) regularly without the brace and there are no ill effects... being careful... last weekend i played six games and ran the bases a lot, from first to home and from second to home a few times... tonight i was running just fine too... now i just need to get back to the 5k training again, more frequent jogging... while rest is important, very important, it is also very important not to rest too much as i rebuild strength, stamina, and whatever speed might be left in this body... continue...

better and better

this weekend was the biggest challenge to date... i decided to try walking without any support, that is no ace bandage or sneaker, just arch-less moccasins for an extended period (all day out at parks and then at downtown disney) and the news is great - no direct injury related pain until after several hours and then it was not enough to stop, though i started limping a bit as evening approached... even better, the day after was fine (just slight discomfort) and i decided to keep going without any support... the point was to test the stability of the foot and ankle and it passed with flying colors...

so i feel confident it is healing well... i will still wrap it well and use a brace when i play sftball because i don't want to accidentally take a mis-step in the heat of the game and i will generally walk with some arch support just cuz that is better for the foot and the planar fascia is prone to fascitis for months or even longer after a rupture, but it was great to pass the test of walking almost barefoot and being on my feet for 6-8 hours... it's been a long time since the initial injury, for sure...

and even more good news - all this introspective body talk actually helped someone (thanks for the comments) which makes posting this even more positive... and one more thing - thanks to the best friend and roommate i could ever have asked for cuz without her, this foot/ankle might never have healed as it has and i could very well have pushed it too hard too fast and caused a permanent injury that would have prevented running again - especially cuz my health insurance ran out just when i should have started physical therapy... yay for best friends... and thank you dear anonymous commenter for reminding me :)

good weekend

saturday was softball practice and since only seven people showed up we did batting practice which let me pitch a few hundred pitches and field my position and take a few dozen swings and that is the kind of practice i personally need much more than the other types of practices and the foot/ankle held up well... stress aching, but no direct injury-related pain worth noting, just discomfort... the best results yet from the foot testing... and after the 6 laps on friday, this is definitely good news...

sunday i woke early and felt wired and went for a brisk walk with a little bit of run and then rested and then did 20 minutes on the elliptical at level 7 down to level 3 and clocked 1.64 miles and around 180 calories (calories was an estimate) and pulse peaked over 150bpm... then went to the weights and used 80 pounds for 3 reps each on the two upper body machines and another 2 more on the pull down and felt it good (hurt so good, huh?)...

today is a rest day, mostly, especially since the weather is really wet and windy (bands of Isaac)... good day not to have to go outside...

almost jogging

i am walking a bit better and went to the gym and used the elliptical machine for the first time and did ten minutes and almost recorded .82 miles which is a pretty good pace and a great workout for the ankle and no ill effects so i must motivate myself to do it more often... and each day i walk a bit faster (happiness helps and i am just about to the point where he has to trot to pull on the leash, so yay for progress)... any day now i will be trying to jog...

ok, wonderful

i survived two trips to the theatre and one trip to a restaurant in the past three days on top of the working at work and self-care at home and the foot is better than it's been since the injury... i put some pressure on it and walked twenty feet or so without crutches a couple of times, outside with the boot on and at home without the boot... the pain flares at two get spots like clockwork and the rest of the leg muscles show signs of atrophy from lack of use which makes pushing the walking all the more important... balance is the key cuz those two pain flare spots are warnings that damage can happen suddenly if i push those two spots too far too fast... but it is still wonderful news to be healing...

not so much fancy free

a bit less pain to start this weekend when compared to last weekend considering i think the last aspirins i took may have been thursday evening but may have been friday mid-day too, it is now at least 24 hours and pushed a bit last night and i just showered (which is a major push and challenge on one foot and requires at least some support from the other foot, even it is just 10% weight bearing for brief moments as i pivot and get in and out of the tub... now there is the benefit of the flat bottom walk-in shower stall, aye?... though most are slippery-er and i'd probably use a towel on the floor which would tangle up as i turned pivoting on one foot and, well, i am making due with a tub so nevermind) and the good foot is aching a bit (ever try standing on one foot, hopping, pivoting on a slippery surface, and walking for half an hour or longer without sitting to rest?... thank goodness i don't have vertigo... go ahead try it for five minutes and see what i mean... don't forget the pivoting and hopping, at least a dozen of each, i mean, just to get a brief feel of the experience cuz you are an insatiably curious child and really want to know which is why you follow me around through all these many dozens of blog, right?... or is that me? :)

anyway, gonna rest a bit now before dressing and considering what to do this weekend... hope your body is enjoying your weekend more than mine, but whatever you do, make it fun too :)

puzzling pain

ok, so there are times when i can put full body weight on the heel (as long as i am not moving the rest of the foot) and actually walk a few steps without pain (unless that is just the aspirins, which is all i've been taking so far, about 12 a day until today) and there are times when no matter what, there is throbbing pain - no movement at all, elevated or down (more down), throbbing totally distracting pain...

and then there is the boot... at times the boot immobilization-by-pressure reduces the pain and allows me to walk a few steps with out crutches or support without pain, but after a while for some reason (reducing circulation or overheating perhaps), the same totally distracting pain... and then taking off the boot and pressing the foot gently on the floor (stimulating circulation and muscle movement) feels much better after hurting at first... so maybe it does have something to do with temperature, too chilled and there is pain with every twitch so immobilization is needed... or perhaps it's just too many twitches... too warm and/or too little movement (immobilized in the boot) and evelated too long (limited circulation) and there is pain... must find a balance...

of course it could just be the meds... more aspirins... call doctor tomorrow for something stronger since aspirins are going to eat my stomach... of course something stronger might eat my liver and kidneys just as much... the body is not happy... how are you?...

yeah, but i don't just vege ya know

i mean, just to be fair and balanced in this record of the body experience (the body wants more, but it is honest too), and the body tells me that i do more than vege... i play softball several times a week most weeks throughout the year and i don't jog, i run the bases and feel the burn and want more... i wish i could play every day cuz i love the game and when i play double headers i want to play a third every time, even when i am tired... and i love running 5Ks when i sign up for them, but i do not sign up nearly enough... i love tennis, racquetball, and basketball when jackson or someone has time to play... so the fair and balanced record is that i am more active, a lot more active than the average person, especially when we look at average ages and demographics and all... still, not nearly enough exercise to satisfy me or keep the body in the condition most comfortable so all this fair and balanced crap is bull... but at least it's part of the record, aye?... posterity, ya know?...

and the body says... more exercise please :}

sleep is good

gave the body (and mind) a solid night sleep by closing my eyes and keeping them closed for at least 9 hours and woke without an alarm before the sun all energized and went out running (18:59.1 for five laps, which is about a half 5k) and gonna shower and write and relax and then head to work... sleep is good :)

bumping it up

free lunch at work, so i eat barbecued meat... dinner invite from roommate, so i eat sushi for dinner... then cupcakes... and finishing the night with chips and chocolate milk... belly grows... social eating... exercise (three softball games last night, but then the team went to celebrate winning the championship so fried shrimp and mountain dew... more ountain dew today), but not vigorous enough and so, bloat... age too... and who cares besides me (and do i care enough?)...

well, balancing the hedonism and health-nut life is not always perfect, but hey, we can always try again tomorrow as long as i wake up again, right? :)

feel free to jump in anytime :)

survival

yes, the body survived the worst of the recent attack (and i know i allowed it as a way to give myself more me time) and as the body heals i wonder if i woke up enough to realize the hedonistic buddha is a pleasure for the mouth and some parts of the brain and body (cuz the chemicals in sugars and fats and caffeine are trippy), but it leaves other parts of the body over-stressed and semi-numb (like the heart, kidneys, liver, skin, muscles, and sex organs, for that matter... what?... you didn't know fats and sugars and caffeiene are leading causes of impotence?... luckily i am so freaking over-sexed it just brings me down to almost normal... who's kidding? lol lam)...

so is it time to turn the cycle around again?...

there's always hope :)

three in a row

this is one hundred entries for this body thoughts blog and the recent reawakening has now gone on for three consecutive days and while only getting 4-5 hours sleep, i feel more energized and in a better state of mind, though the muscle fatigue is building up and i must remember the heart is a muscle that needs rest and when it cramps, look out, so i shall try to get more sleep tomorrow night (just seem to be waking at shortly before 3AM and the brain filled with thoughts, too many thoughts of the overwhelming workload at work, unfortunately, it is not ready for more sleep so it drags the body to the gym, which is good, and here we are again)... happy brain, the body says balance, please :)

hiccups

last week i suddenly without planning changed dietary paths back to serious veggie light cutting out soda caffeine sugar fat and all the processed stuff i was eating so much of (and i haven't had italian or anything outside either) and i dropped more than ten pounds to see 199 on the scale one the bottom-out morning... the body is about 203 at the moment as i pigged out on late night veggies with sauces the past two nights, but still on the way down and hopefully will see the 170s by the end of the year again... at least the low 180s... still having too much fun to take the lean mean fighting machine seriously though (but the teenage dream is not gone either, cha know :)

and then i laugh

all the emo drama, complaints, self-berating, blah blah blah and so on... yeah, it's great to be thin, to be light, to move smoothely and reach for the optimal physical experience in this life, but heck, i am so comfortable in my skin it is ridiculous to lay the wah wah guilt trip on myself... truth is, it is all so all in the mind...

and then i laugh :)

wow, cellular memory

i forget almost every time in every conscious way when i disassociate myself from the physical shell (and the body laughs it's maniacal suicidal cheesy grin laugh as it does not have much choice and it knows it on that cellular memory level that the consciousness avoids so often, but every now and then a glimmer of a glimpse, a sliver of memory slices through as if to be placed on a slide and probes by an electron microscope (cuz that is how thin a slice it is most of the time) and when the brain turns on it's subatomic eye to perceive (because it is beyond human sight as we know it) the cellular memory, the brain floats through a sea of emotions made of every extreme as the temporary journey of life saves it from the utter despair and depths of depression that the daily suicidal choices would ordinarily bring to the ordinary normal mind...

thank goodness i am abnormal...

and the body sighs, laughed out, and blinks back into existence for the briefest moment before blinking again back into oblivion... this is life in human form in this world at this time and i finally fit in...

such a waste, and yet, a success... would amy be proud?... would the others who thought me too idealistic and lacking in common sense when i refused to conform and die, living dead cuz that was the way everyone chose?... and what if i chose to wake now?...

does anyone understand?

:)

ironiculous

ridicuny?... yes, well, i am here... the game broke and i am here... i pigged out on pizza and chocolate and chips and the stuff i had not had in months this week, and i am here... i dropped 40 pounds as of last week and gained back 10 this week and i am here... ironic?... ridiculous?... silly me, making good progress, but what fun is progress without some slippage... three steps forward, two steps back, and one to the side... that's the ticket... the great news is i now consider 185 fat... imagine how out of touch i was when i was over 220... playing softball 4x a week... doing a bit of running... working way too many hours... eating mostly very healthy (in spite of the divergence of this week)... the body smiles, the mouth laughs, the happy medium is on the horizon... life is good, even though it's still lonely, it's very good... how about you? :)

circular motion

yeah, up and down, back to 192, back to 199.8, and round and round and round again... that was may... focus just was not there... maybe it was the disappointment in the people (softball teams, work colleagues, old friends, the human race, all the little things)... maybe it was the unresolved (uninvited?)... maybe it was (was?... isn't it still is-ing?... like now?) just boredom fueling the ambivalence that replaced the joyous optimism and hope and belief in love and life and pleasure and caring and sharing and peace and love (did i meantion love?) and happiness and romance and passion and idealism and beauty and promises and love (mustn't forget the love) and the dreams... maybe it's just getting old...

so why am i still giggling?

food

the body needs balance most of all... the body needs food to live and yet, the body craves all sorts of physical/sensual stimulation and when food becomes the dominant one, or worse, the only one, health suffers and everything else follows and no amount of exercise can change it... don't let that happen...

(anymore)...