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yes, 3:20.9; 4:16.3; 4:05.8; 4:29.6; 4:02.9; 4:34.9: 4:14.4... 29:04.8... best time yet... finally some improvement... still mediocre at best, but doesn't suck as much when there is at least a bit of improvement... recognizing that i did not get passed the initial surge of lactic acid and breathing... there are lots of tips and advice for breathing for runners and non-runners alike... it is second nature to me from years of running but it is something i am forgetting (are you forgetting the face of your father, roland?) as well... the key is getting passed the initial lactic acid rusg and initial oxygen panic, that first out-of-breath feeling, and then maintaining a steading pace so the breathing pattern brings enough oxygen in (and gets enough carbon dioxide out) to allow a sustained pace and not a situation where breathing becomes more labored with each lap... i know what i mean better than i can explain it, the point is i was not remembering this and therefore giving in to the initial oxygen panic... dummy...

still, for sure a long long way to go and weight to drop... i am completing the first lap without stopping the last few jog/walks, which is a good sign... and while strain during the jog/walk, no shin splints and no pain during recovery, another good sign... so continue...

left shin screaming

ok, so we are going to give the left shin more attention... i don't know if it is wearing the brace or favoring the leg or being out of shape or something else... i know it is partly favoring as i am experiencing imbalanced strains as i am running in my legs and lower back... the lower back is not pain, just the usual running strain, but it is imbalanced so my stride is imbalanced... something to pay attention to...

2.5K... this time a full five laps... pushing the time a bit 3:41.2; 4:38.1; 4:19.4; 4:53.0; 4:07.0... 21:38.7 total... still pathetic even by the standards of last year when i was dropping into the mid-30s (minutes) for a 10k... slow jog the first lap and i was feeling it in my abs - that is how out of shape they are... and that shine splint thing must be resolved... focus the stride, the breathing, and continue...

ok, two

as in two days in a row... 4:02.1; 4:28.1; 4:29.4; 4:36.2; 17:35.8 for 4 laps which might have been a 22 minute 2.5K, maybe, and this track appears on the long side of the measure so eh at least until i am doing a 20 minute 2.5K and then eh until i am doing a 40 minute 5K and crap to all the woulda could should crap... deal with real times, real conditions, real physical life (to survive)... 61 degrees, humidity 86%... dang humidity takes so much out when the muscle and lung stamina is this low... lactic acid pain during the first lap and shin splints by the third lap, i don't think this body has even been quite this out of shape and recovery time has never been so long both for muscles and for lungs... and this was after relatively decent sleep and meat protein last night... must change habits... wah wah wah... do it again tomorrow or shadup...

...

too much rest?

well, i am running the bases much better and though i am keeping the ankle brace on tight as i play, i am jogging short distances with happiness (jackson's dog) regularly without the brace and there are no ill effects... being careful... last weekend i played six games and ran the bases a lot, from first to home and from second to home a few times... tonight i was running just fine too... now i just need to get back to the 5k training again, more frequent jogging... while rest is important, very important, it is also very important not to rest too much as i rebuild strength, stamina, and whatever speed might be left in this body... continue...

shins

stopped after the seventh lap due to lower leg strain more than usual, especially the left shins which were threatening damage (like shin splints)... serious pain for about ten minutes after sitting during which time i removed the sneakers, ankle wrap, and socks and elevated (throb throb throb)... both calves were starting to scream too... the left shin finally stopped throbbing and hurting (down to light strain pain, 1 on a 10 scale) after about fifteen minutes... puzzle...

maybe lower protein the last few days... maybe less vitamins... maybe lack of consistent rest... maybe technique as i was jog/walking... maybe pushed too much in the first lap or two... maybe cooler temps... maybe jog/walked too much with happiness just before starting... maybe not stretching enough... maybe a lot of things... anyway, a lap with happiness before the seven would make it eight laps, but still cutting the 5k short and that lap with happiness was not timed so not satisfied with the performance, but happy i dragged myself out because i have been seriously unmotivated this weekend so far...

times... 3:37.0, 4:05.6, 4:05.7, 4:23.8, 4:23.2, 4:41.0, 4:49.7... seven laps, 30:06.0 which was approximately on the same 5k pace as the last one recorded here in the previous entry... ahead of that pace for the first 3 laps which might have been strain the lower legs did not deal with well, the lower leg muscles are definitely as weak as they've ever been in this life, especially the left, after not being used from mid april until late august of this year... one step at a time...

solitary determination

well, i grew tired of looking outside of myself for inspiration to exercise (all along i had been hoping that living with someone in a body that is more than two decades younger than the body i inhabit would inspire me to be more active and exercise more but she works so much she rarely has time or energy and now has a relationship taking even more of her time lately so i hardly see her... maybe i needed someone three decades younger, or four, even lol...

everybody gets so old so fast in this life (ah, who gets my humor? :)

the foot, by the way, is doing fine... wrapped good and tight, no pain in the foot or the leg muscles... reasonable strain in both calf and abdominal muscles (sadly, signs of atrophy and aging are evident all over the dang body... alas, dissatisfaction keeps me alone, physically (can you hear my body sigh?)... somehow, i must find someone to laugh with me... preferably as we make love...

ok, back to the immediate physical reality... so i jog/walked another 5k tonight and i realized how much backsliding i have been doing living outside of myself so much so whatever, there are no excuses outside of myself and here are the numbers...

ten laps... 3:34.0 4:14.3, 4:16.7, 4:17.9, 4:18.8, 4:43.6, 4:39.8, 4:54.4, 4:26.8, 4:07.7... 43:34.0 total time... an approximate 5k, possible a bit longer, but close enough to let me consistently call it a 5k... and after a full day at work and being awake 14 hours... not too bad, but shamefully pitiful compared to what i know the body can do it it is not wasted away... so what will i do now... rest... the more important questions is what will i do tomorrow...

i did not have running partners as a kid... or a teen,... or a young adult... i was a solitary runner... love and the desire for a relationship was an inspiration, but it was just me out on the road day after day, mile after mile... it was loving the feeling of the high during the run and loving the feeling of fitness and awareness after and between the runs... so is the solitary determination that drove me to run a 2:40 marathon (that is 2 hours and 40 minutes) once and sub 3 hour marathons more than a dozen times return before it is time to die?... will the solitary determination that drove me to run a 4:40 mile (that's four minutes and 40 seconds) once and many sub five minute miles and routine sub 6 minute miles return?... routinely running 15 miles in 89:54 minutes (that's 89 minutes, 54 seconds - averaging sub 6 minute miles for 15 miles)?... and 60 or more miles a week...

mostly those are just memories now, not realistic goals considering the years of backsliding i've allowed this body to do... a few years ago, maybe five, i run/jogged eight miles in just under ninety minutes... but can i, on just my solitary determination, return to consistently running again, not just jog/walking, without dying first?...

one step at a time...

better and better

this weekend was the biggest challenge to date... i decided to try walking without any support, that is no ace bandage or sneaker, just arch-less moccasins for an extended period (all day out at parks and then at downtown disney) and the news is great - no direct injury related pain until after several hours and then it was not enough to stop, though i started limping a bit as evening approached... even better, the day after was fine (just slight discomfort) and i decided to keep going without any support... the point was to test the stability of the foot and ankle and it passed with flying colors...

so i feel confident it is healing well... i will still wrap it well and use a brace when i play sftball because i don't want to accidentally take a mis-step in the heat of the game and i will generally walk with some arch support just cuz that is better for the foot and the planar fascia is prone to fascitis for months or even longer after a rupture, but it was great to pass the test of walking almost barefoot and being on my feet for 6-8 hours... it's been a long time since the initial injury, for sure...

and even more good news - all this introspective body talk actually helped someone (thanks for the comments) which makes posting this even more positive... and one more thing - thanks to the best friend and roommate i could ever have asked for cuz without her, this foot/ankle might never have healed as it has and i could very well have pushed it too hard too fast and caused a permanent injury that would have prevented running again - especially cuz my health insurance ran out just when i should have started physical therapy... yay for best friends... and thank you dear anonymous commenter for reminding me :)

good weekend

saturday was softball practice and since only seven people showed up we did batting practice which let me pitch a few hundred pitches and field my position and take a few dozen swings and that is the kind of practice i personally need much more than the other types of practices and the foot/ankle held up well... stress aching, but no direct injury-related pain worth noting, just discomfort... the best results yet from the foot testing... and after the 6 laps on friday, this is definitely good news...

sunday i woke early and felt wired and went for a brisk walk with a little bit of run and then rested and then did 20 minutes on the elliptical at level 7 down to level 3 and clocked 1.64 miles and around 180 calories (calories was an estimate) and pulse peaked over 150bpm... then went to the weights and used 80 pounds for 3 reps each on the two upper body machines and another 2 more on the pull down and felt it good (hurt so good, huh?)...

today is a rest day, mostly, especially since the weather is really wet and windy (bands of Isaac)... good day not to have to go outside...

chicken fat

yeah, you know... we walk/jogged 4 laps and then jackson went in for a shower cuz she has work soon and i walk/jogged another two laps with the fifth lap being the most jogged lap... the good news is the foot/ankle is healing well, the stamina is not completely gone (though it is, by my standards, horribly pitiful and i'd be content with a 50 minute 5k at this point)... the lap is .31 miles which makes 10 laps a 5k and that'll be the first distance goal (the first goal is wake up and do it again soon, monday or tuesday at the latest... tomorrow is softball practice at 10am... maybe sunday since i am not playing softball on sundays yet (i think must check schedules)... time goals will wait until i complete 10 laps at least once or twice... a 5k in september is not too far fetched...

slow, very slow, and not too steady, but progress...

alrighty then

yesterday (when i was young, la la la) was a good kick in the psyche and i found myself out on the softball field (with strangers, no less... not the ideal first time back, but... i don't actually have a family, alas, wah wah wah and all that)... jackson was there and she cares and is as close to family as i've got, so i had the best i could and yay for her...

anyway, i survived... there is pain, but nothing new... no damage... just the stress of movement and some light running (to first base) and attempting to put full weight on the foot/ankle while swinging the bat and pitching (i'll work my way up to full weight and actually pivoting)... the achilles and hamstring (and of course foot and ankle) showed definite signs of weakness and tightness, so stretching is essential prior to any exercise and alertness must be maintained to prevent ancillary injuries... but all in all, a very good first day back on the field... well delayed by extended rest, but maybe that is for the best... jackson thinks so :)

better every day

feeling like i want to run again, but i know i need to be very careful and i should be exercising in the gym daily to strengthen the leg and foot and ankle muscles but i've not gotten into that habit... at least i am getting out walking several times a day thanks to happiness, but pushing the muscles to strengthen them needs more than just walking... jackson hasn't been around and with the health insurance gone i have no physical therapist or coach or friend who will help, so it's all me... not even getting softball team motivation as nobody is close (except jackson and she's too busy and is discouraging me from rejoining the team... not sure if that's because they have too many people, but heck, i pay for the dang team and i don't get all the money back every season... in fact if i don't pay for the fall season by next week i lose out on the discount, but i still haven't gotten all the money for the current season... frustrating, especially with my current tighter budget... but even more frustrating is they don't seem to need me, wah wah, there are other teams that hopefully will call and want me to rehab faster and play with them)... just got to do it myself...

almost jogging

i am walking a bit better and went to the gym and used the elliptical machine for the first time and did ten minutes and almost recorded .82 miles which is a pretty good pace and a great workout for the ankle and no ill effects so i must motivate myself to do it more often... and each day i walk a bit faster (happiness helps and i am just about to the point where he has to trot to pull on the leash, so yay for progress)... any day now i will be trying to jog...

timing bad, m'ok?

yeah, it is not good to leave a job and suddenly be thrust into a job search the same day as boot removal... so i have not been using the boot or crutches for almost two weeks, but i am also not walking much... my days are spent sitting here online searching for jobs and the motivation to dress and wrap the foot and tie on the sneaker is minimal... luckily happiness, the wonder dog, begs to go outside a lot and likes to pull and walk... the pulling is challenging, almost pulling me off my feel or off balance so i almost hurt the foot and ankle... must be very careful (and a little hard on him cuz i cannot afford a re-injury what with needing to go on interviews when they finally come and no health insurance for months, bad timing, m'ok)... the good news is the foot is doing better... i am walking slowly on flat surfaces with minimal pain... dangerous are the slopes and bumpy surfaces (so stay off the grass)... just need to focus on more consistent (and more) exercise and stretching and more exercise... careful physical therapy rehab, must do it myself, motivate, careful, must... and rest, must get back to sleeping regularly... and eating regularly... stop letting this bummer job search distract me... positivity...

that is all for today, mostly a reminder :}

much better without the walking

though i didn't eat anything but nuts today... i can afford to lose weight, but the foot needs protein and balance... taking vitamins and a few supplements... out of walnuts though and fish oil doesn't have the right fatty acid and the omega-3 hasn't arrived yet... and i still have the weeks work clothes in the laundry in the dryer... and i didn't take a shower... but the foot is much better when i do not walk on it and when i do not try to hop around the house a lot... the healing continues... minimal swelling too... the diagnosis is confirmed more with each passing day... no rhoids, that's good news... wish there was something other than rest and wait i can do... even exercising other body parts makes the foot hurt more as the blood pressure and pulse rising makes it throb and it is not easy to not move the foot muscles at all when trying to push other muscles no matter what the exercise... dealing with the frustration and impatience as well as i am able... writing it out helps... and that's the body thoughts for today...

reports of constipation have been greatly exaggerated

while the irreverence of this found it's way into another blog hole, the fact is these are body thoughts and that is what this blog was created for and it surely isn't used as consistently and positively as it should, so here's another entry... as the title suggests, the body does stuff every day that we don't much talk (no less write about, but still it happens and if we are lucky (and taking good care of the body overall), it happens regularly and well (and i don't just mean sex or masturbation)... in a nutshell (though it musta been a huge nut), i roughly estimate that i deposited twenty pounds of waste into the porcelain receptacle over this weekend (and it ain’t over yet)… if that is way too much tmi, you may be in the wrong place as that’s just one of the exciting features of this blog and what we are here for, after all… so i pondered and realized that on the one hand it is a blessing that this body can still process so much food from healthy to junk in such a short period of time (yay for the holiday season, no doubt) and on the other hand, it is a curse that this body does not get sick enough to make me stop such ridiculously suicidal (but ever so fun) pig-out binges of culinary and oral self-indulgence (check out white wolf café next time you are in town… yes, a restaurant review right here in botts, can i get any more . . . oh, fill in your own description term this time, will ya?)….

feeling good, though larger than life in too many ways... what was that declaration i made to jackson?... to be 190 and running daily and doing weight work by the time she gets back down here next month?... luckily, she didn't respond so i am not help to it, right?...

nyuk nyuk, narf :)

no barf :)

sleep is good

gave the body (and mind) a solid night sleep by closing my eyes and keeping them closed for at least 9 hours and woke without an alarm before the sun all energized and went out running (18:59.1 for five laps, which is about a half 5k) and gonna shower and write and relax and then head to work... sleep is good :)

run twoo

as in second also... or maybe third, but anyway, another run tracked since living alone... this time was more moderately paced and finished five laps in 20:35.9... very long day and very hot night in the mid-eighties and way humid even for florida... sweat sweat sweat... eating to bloat yummy but to bloat... heading for four softball leagues a week in a few weeks, so increase the exercise... gotta run more... but carefully, the body is at that sudden death age with inconsistent exercise... drop weight, increase stamina and strength, then consider another stress test and whatever else the doctor orders... take care of yourself, right... i care, how about you?... alphas?...

bumping it up

free lunch at work, so i eat barbecued meat... dinner invite from roommate, so i eat sushi for dinner... then cupcakes... and finishing the night with chips and chocolate milk... belly grows... social eating... exercise (three softball games last night, but then the team went to celebrate winning the championship so fried shrimp and mountain dew... more ountain dew today), but not vigorous enough and so, bloat... age too... and who cares besides me (and do i care enough?)...

well, balancing the hedonism and health-nut life is not always perfect, but hey, we can always try again tomorrow as long as i wake up again, right? :)

feel free to jump in anytime :)

yeah, right

so after dropping a bit of revealing connection type information here for the offering for those who care enough to explore beyond the body thoughts, i chose to push through the abdominal distress and play softball (running hard, hitting well, pitching even better, yay) and then fast food frenzy the body tonight, including the mountain dew... so far, the body is not screaming in rebellion (if we do not count the ear ringing that warns of the blood pressure which is definitely high after the fast food and sugar-caffiene rush), but the wisdom behind the impulse knows better...

still, it turns me on (the physical pleasures of life, that is)... i so relate to the messenger character in city of angels even if the body thinks that just might be suicidal thinking... loving the hedonistic life for as long as it lasts...

and how are you? :)

last seen heading in a circular direction

out for another run, 6 laps 2358 and 7 in 28:23, tougher than the past two runs cuz of fatigue, meat fatigue as i call it, and the heat of the day too and a bit of grogginess and not having the mind just right so the stamina wasn't quite there so the first lap was a push to keep it under 4 minutes as was every other lap, but heck, still did the 6 laps in under 4 minutes a lap so sigh (i mean yay)...

still eating the meatloaf so the wight is not changing, maybe even going up... the legsa are thin as ever, but the torso continues to be blooated... next week, maybe the diet will balance better... and sleep and other stuff and gee by golly wiz, i'm awful tired now... and just lonely enough to still be awake writing, aye?...

ought to get some sleep, huh? (narf :)