Friday, March 29, 2013

forgetting or ignoring

laying in agony too tired to do the exercise or stand the hot steam shower than might ease the pains and let me get comfortable night after night is quite the foolish choice especially when i know better, or at least i say so... and so the last few days i grew the belly and except for softball (did great, 3 for 3, 4 rbi, scored, ran well, pitched well, we won... took a slam on my right arch which is sore, but kicked the ball toward first and prevented a run from scoring... and started a triple play by snagging a low line drive at shoe level, so the body had fun for a few hours and did good)... i could/should be doing more exercise... and eating a bit less... doing more... but the lazy relaxing vacation time is so sweet... except when the body aches... sleep more... and when awake, keep moving fool, and move more... right...

narf :)

Saturday, March 23, 2013

naturally unexpected

aching neck, throbbing arm, extreme fatigue, and then, nutella... craving chocolate, i found nutella in the cupboard, and the chocolate was the next level after the bacon cheese burgers and fries... the flood of calories increased the blood pressure and the neck ache and i laid back and started pumping my legs... gradually, the neck stopped hurting, the arm stopped hurting, a bit of muscle memory started returning, and an hour later, here we are... clothing drenched with perspiration, but feeling much better... remembering that sometimes the best exercise came after passing the over-tired-wired fatigue stage in spite of concerns of over-doing, heart failure. even death... and exercise relieves the neck pain... and the body hope for more...

Monday, March 18, 2013

looping rather foolishly

eating out of frustration is a very foolish choice and while i do not allow the foolishness to reach the proportions that the average human allows, i do allow the foolishness to interfere with the optimal experience in this physical life... it has been a long time, relatively speaking (as time is relative), since i experienced the optimal... it would be much simpler and easier without the frustrations or, in the physical world, if i was not spending so much more money than i should, which feed the frustrations... but this is the path i have chosen... to be human... frail... foibled... falable... and foolishly ignorant of the solutions to the conundrums i allowed to for around me...

what this does to the body is not a pretty picture...

anybody understand?...

Saturday, March 16, 2013

scratch that

last night instead of going to bed without eating i ate a whole frozen pizza with extra cheese and stayed up all night and today i ate taco bell and so, the belly is back... it was going down (it only takes a few days for the big bump to go down, the body bloat from waist to chin takes as long as it takes to drop the 30+ pounds it weighs, but the belly bloat was on it's way down and hopefully i will refocus on that after tomorrow... especially since the body is calling me out here, very disappointed in me, alas, and the choices...

keep me in touch, ok body?...

Friday, March 15, 2013

hope, perhaps

ok, as is the case is often the case with the head case i can be, i subtly decided semi-consciously to eat less and maybe lighter and drop some of the excess weight because i reach the highest end of the max-weight limits beyond which the discomforts are more annoying than any diet or exercise can be (but let's not make any big deal out of it just yet, ok?)... luckily that is only about 40 pounds above the ideal weight set for this body (set be a compromise between the charts and graphs of modern science and the more important sensory apparatus monitoring this body from within)... i don't think i topped off over 220, but i saw 218 on the scale at the local supermarket that has a scale in it's lobby some time in the past week and that may have been the numerical trigger, but the awareness of the belly-bloat noted as i was running around the bases and the truths of last few entries lingered the past few days so, yay for awareness and self-caring...

there may still be hope for this who...

Thursday, March 14, 2013

message from the body

why?... maybe just to be a better softball player who can run around the bases faster without breathing heavy since softball is so important to you?... and to wear the 75% of my clothes that have been in boxes since the belly grew?... and to be more body-attractive to those who are attractive to me... or maybe just to live longer!...

dummy, what a dummy this guy can be...

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

focus or fucus

yes, that is what the body is saying, the us being the cells, i imagine, if only to keep the grammar police at bay (and laugh)... the bottom line to this message is pretty simple, we are here, we are here, we are here! like the who's down in whoville, they tried to ignore the coming doom, but in the end, they just want to survive... so the cells inside are shouting we want to live! even though cells know they die off fast, like many are replaced every thirty days or so, but still, they know they will not regenerate without the body and the body is dying so they say focus or fucus, as either focus on living or give up and die already... impatient cells, perhaps, but they do have a valid point... and who'da thunk i'd be here, this far down the line (thank you for the haunting song, eagles)...

yeah, take life and this body seriously again... and why? :P

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

belly bloat

some days i do not notice it, some days it is much in my way... i think the latter experience is dependent on the former, that is, it is much more in my way when i notice it... and then i adjust diet, cuz back on sugar and salt and caffeine and fat and carbs and for 24-48 hours i feel like crap... missing the carbs is a large part of it... i feel better when i have juice and today, that is the plan so far... the left neck pain, muscle or thyroid or whatever it is, flairs up more consistently on days like these... and anytime i change the diet i must watch the kidneys for stones... reddish granular (uric acid) sediment is a routine reaction to variations in diet - too much caffeine/sugar or too much smoked processed meats (dang those smoked sausages and bacon) without balance and add exercise (dehydration, even with fluids) and it's a sure thing... no major pain, but definite discomfort and some wonkiness... belly bloat is much more obviously noticeable at these times...

stay focused and remember and reduce belly bloat and all that jazz...