Monday, April 30, 2018

Cause For Concern

There is growing concern in the sub-net of my brain about the apparent deterioration (or lack of healing) of the skin just inside and outside of the anus. Several GI Specialists tell me there's nothing concerning in the rectum when they look in there. A colonoscopy from Feb 2017 came up clean. A Hematologist and Nephroogist have given me clean bills of health (heavy on the bills). The last visual exam was last month by a PA at a highly respected GI Center and she said to use Desitin, not to wash it off, and made it seem as though it was a bad case of diaper rash.

What I know and tell them is that it has become progressively worse over at least the last 3 years. That it started as what I thought was an occasional hemorrhoid flare up maybe ten years ago that would occur a couple of times a year after hard bowel movement. That was treated with over the counter suppositories and the flare up would go away in a day or two.

This increased over the course of a decade and moreso in the last three years. Over the last year, the skin has not been healing most of the time. Anal fissures developed and they are not healing either. I am following all the medical advice, rinsing after bowel movements, keeping clean and dry, not rubbing or wiping with anything even remotely abrasive (wet wipes only, just lightly before the rinse, mostly because of the texture).

The texture of the feces has made this much more challenging since this recent C;Diff incident which started in late February. That symptom is not completely gone, though I have not gotten definitive results as to whether the soft pasty smelly stools are due to C.Diff or due to the intestinal bacterial damage that takes time to rebuild.

In any case, what I experience is increasing pain and bleeding over several years to the point where now, almost every bowel movement produces the pain and bleeding and that is not something I want to be told is nothing to worry about.

I'm gonna print this and take it to my next doctor's appointments. Thanks for asking and helping me explain it once again. Maybe this explains it better than I have explained it before (I may have a failure to communicate going on with more than a few doctors and PAs. :)

I only know what I say, not what others hear.

Did you say something?

Hopefully you will :)

Sunday, April 29, 2018

I Caved

The triggers were all there neatly lined up in a row. Jackson in public. Heading back here alone. Fatigue (lack of sleep). Reaching out to the friends I have and realizing they are wrapped up in their own worlds, like Jackson, and I am not part of it. My place in this world is the outsider, the drifter, the loner. Anyway, I caved in and after the Chinese Buffet yesterday, I went Taco Bell crazy tonight and probably put 4000 calories in me. The food blog can tell you more.

All without blood pressure medications and with a doctor's appointment in two days.

So now I either rededicate myself to a week of 1000 calories days with continued increasing exercise, or I just give up on live, give into the foodie, and eat myself to death the way so many people in our culture do. I did play softball today. Poorly. The team did not seem to want to be there and my lack of sleep affected my leadership and ability to see the ball.

It is time for sleep, I hope I find some.

Alone can be so futile sometimes.

Take care of each other.

Saturday, April 28, 2018

Almost Panting

Today marks day four of the newly initiated jog.walk routine and either day three, four, or five (I may check the daily blog to see that more clearly, if it's there) of the lower calorie daily intake routine. I was almost panting when I finished and today I doubled the distance of both the jog and the run, alternating each. Very short distances, maybe .1 mile, very weak times. Today is the first day of recording this change, so...

1 Block x2
1 Block x2
1 Block x2
1 Block x4
@ 5:00
under 5:00
@ 1:50
@ 1:45
@ 1.15
@ 3:20
@ 3:15
@ 2:50
@ 2:15

Alrighty then, I remembered how to do tables. Mostly. Now to just copy and paste that somewhere so I might actually keep track of progress. I'll need to add columns in a larger spreadsheet for conditions (weather {temp, humidity, precipitation, other}, a few columns for body talk (muscles/pain, muscles/strength, lungs/stamina, heart/signs, and specifics, at least). and more fields I used to keep track of when I was a daily runner (and I mean runner, not jog/walker... sub 5 minute miles were expected daily, as were 15+ mile run at least once a week... I may never get back there, but I want a routine sub-10 minute mile again and would like routine sub 8 minute miles again... we shall see if I can satisfaction).

The first three days were at early morning sunrise with temps about 70 and humidity the whatever the average is for Central Florida. Today the temp was 80 and humidity 38%, which is very low for around here. The body is dealing with the reawakening better than expected, especially with the limited calories.

No poops since the first day (when the high protein made for the hardest poop I've had in months, but it was still soft and what medical people would call near perfect (see the everybody poops entry for links to details if you want more).

Interestingly, the ligaments around the interior right ankle bone at the base of the tibia (the break from a few years ago, or was it longer, maybe seven years ago?) produced about a 6 pain at first and then about a 3 pain as I jogged the second lap. The calves and hamstrings were tight and lactic acid came quickly to produce about a 3 pain there. The lower back was tight, but maybe a 1-2 pain.

Stamina was better than the first day, but still very poor as when I turned to job the block back I decided to stop and walk the block back so I could recover and try a second lap, which worked. Muscle stamina was terrible, which is to be expected since the only nunning I've done in the last few years is around the bases and while I can sprint those, even sprint home to home, without pain or panting, distance jog/running is a whole different experience for the muscles and lungs (and heart and everything else, for that matter).

Calorie intact has been restricted for the past three days (see the food blog for more details on the foods I eat). The first mostly protein low-calorie meal was 4/25, so today marks day four. No calories yet today. Yesterday maybe about 1200 calories. The day before was less than 300 calories. The day before that was probably around 1000 calories. Reduced carbs and minimal fat. Prior to that I was carb-loading with rice, mostly, as I was combating C.Diff since February. The weight increased about 10-15 pounds. I love my complex carbs, but this body turns them into stored fat so easily I must consider them a treat and not a daily staple.

So there is the first relatively full record of the first relatively decent kick-start of the umpteenth new chapter in this body. Time to shower and head out as there's a party with the game friends and dinner with another friend tonight and somehow I'll try to do both.

Welcome back my friends to the show that seems to begin all over again. A lot.

Narf :)

Friday, April 27, 2018

Still Breathing

I wonder if anyone reads this and if so, who... in any case, I had a bit of a paradigm shift yesterday as a dream woke me up and you'll just have to walk through the written gardens for more details (see amy), but the body has risen the past two mornings (once on 10+ hours sleep and once on 4 hours sleep) to run (though I use the work run loosely... slow but mostly steady jog), which is a major change. I have not initiated morning runs in a very long time. I seem to want to continue.

Last night and tonight I changed dietary habits dramatically, eating mostly protein (after many weeks of carb-kicking, rice and pasta, in response to the digestive crap (we'll get to that in a moment, but crap it is, and stinky crap at that). The food blog pauses more lately, but last night I ate chicken salad made with light mayo and nothing else and tonight, so far, nothing due to the rather painful bowel movement (did I mention the digestive system reacted poorly?... If not, I will). Maybe I just want some wonky lab results to get the doctor's attention. Munch much? I don't think so, I just want someone to help stop the painful bowel movements and rectal/anal bleeding rather than just sending me to another doctor. I don't ask much.

Where did we leave off on the digestive journey? I finally found a well-respected GI specialist and had tests and C.Diff was the diagnosis and I went on the antibiotic that starts with V and took is for three weeks (what can I say, I did miss a dose or two in the 14 day regime that included a softball tournament in Dallas and a very busy life for a QID med. I forget to eat lunch most days, I'm expected to remember yet another pill? Of course, if I want it to work.

Anyway, I went for the follow up labs last week and no results back yet. There are good days and challenging days depending on my activity level, what I eat, and other factors including stress, how much I sit, and how much I sleep. I still play back and the past two days and as I mentioned, I've challenged myself to wake up early and run and walk before work. The digestive system reacted poorly, but I will not go quietly. I will (intend to very positively and firmly) wake again tomorrow and hopefully every day from now on and do a little bit more morning run/walk from now on for as long as I am able.

I have a Hematologist appointment next week and will get blood drawn tomorrow morning. Hopefully the results will be ready for the appointment, once again I forgot and am late so I may not get the results in hand as I prefer. You'd think a medial issue that gets progressively works over the course of three years (or more) might have some sort of diagnosis and remedy by now, but a half dozen specialists all say it's nothing to worry about and offer no treatment that works. While this is a six month follow-up for anemia, I will ask (beg, plead) for some feedback on the progressive anal bleed.

My last instructions were to see a dermatologist, but I have not decided on one yet. I mean, a how many different specialists must look up my ass, anyway? I want a dermatologist anyway for some dry flaky skin issues, some occasional rash issues, and the usual skin cancer tests people who live and spend a lot of time outdoors in Florida for decades should get.

Still no primary. I finally found one I was really excited about, but got a very firm no new patients and an apology when I said but my health insurance list him as accepting new patients. Sigh. The bummer is I am almost out of blood pressure medication and I stopped taking them. Sure, stop the BP meds for the first time in a couple of years and start running during the same week, there's a challenge for you, aye body?

Nephrologist, Hematologist, GI Surgeon, GI Specialist, Dermatologist,, whom I leaving out?

Is it time for the cario-stress test yet?

So how are you?.

Narf :)

Thursday, April 26, 2018

Everybody Poops

I'll just slip this one in here while nobody's looking...

At least in some way, shape, or form, we humans have to get the waste products of processing foods to stay alive somehow. There are even blogs dedicated to recording visual images of daily poops for posterity. Or maybe for health reasons. Ah yes, doctor, this blog chronologically recording his poops shows us why he died. If only he brought his poops in to us instead of posting them on the web. Some realize it is a natural part of life, even if it can be very unsanitary.

There is a lot of facts and trivia about poop out there. There are also a lot of different perspectives and attitudes about poop and pooping. Science presents some interesting ideas, like how much money can be made by collecting and processing poop. Not to mention energy. Sadly, America is way behind the rest of the modern world in accepting poop or pooping and it leads to such ignorance that we are a surprisingly unsanitary culture. Pooping is not nearly as taboo elsewhere. So many people are so afraid of nudity. Or anything natural, for that matter. Sad self-destructive culture in that way.

But who gives a shit, right? Maybe this will help...

So for whatever reason, my mind wandered from the body to what the body produces and rather than let it slip out too much in all the wrong places (as it was starting to in a few other blogs, including the foodie blog), I decided to come here and search the internet until I had my fill of discussing poop. I'll let you know when that happens.

My roommmate uses one of these (below). It is always in the way because he never tucks it in the way it's designed to be stored. This means it gets peed on now and then. Like the rest of the bathroom. What can I say, my roommate does not have sanitary living habits in any way. As you may have read many times in many places in many ways, I'd welcome a change of living space. The opportunity just has not appeared in spite of much searching on and off. Anyway, this thing sounds like a good idea, but is there really science behind it? I would try it, if it was clean. For the moment, I just enjoy laughing at the commercial. TP for napkins as a final touch, priceless.

For the moment I shall pause this here.

I mean, let's not even get into showering.