Record of My Destruction

This blog is just that, a record of my self-destruction. I may be closing in on 230 pounds. Maybe if I came here more often and confronted myself in words with the reality of my choices... but my choices is not to come here and that is one more pieces of proof, proof by omission. Maintaining contact when unpleased and sometimes disgusted with the reality ain't easy. I knew that that from the start... eleven years ago (oh my, and how the memories flood back after following some linkage... was it good for you?). And the left neck suddenly cramps for the first time in weeks. The body is extremely stressed tonight. Fatigue started it. Then a nap not long enough and softball unprepared that killed morale because I played so poorly and let myself get injured. I can not sit comfortably, yet here I am. Sitting. I must keep my leg elevated.

This is not as bad as the broken ankle, but it is the second worst pain I've known in the past twenty years. It really hurts (immediate swelling and discoloration at the site of impact and within an hour swelling and pain around to the calf. Definitely not good). I was wearing shin pads, it probably would have broken the bone if I wasn't. Hopefully there is no break and there will be no infection and there will be no blood clot stopping the heart or stroking the brain.

Did I mention I started another blog to prove I am suicidal?

It hurts.