Everything At Once (In Depth)

This might be a dozen entries or more, but here it is all in one, the body reports on all the issues from head to toe, or randomly, or perhaps as they affect me and get the mind's attention at this moment. This will be an in d

Body issues rise up more often as the years pass and lately I have some skin issues that disturb my peace and tranquility. Insect bite issues on my legs have popped up again since I've been doing the yard work. It is so hot I went out with just shorts, flip-flops, and a t-shirt last time and clearing multi-year over-growth in what are basically wild woods is not something to do without some skin coverage, especially on feet and legs. It is just so hot and I perspire so much and overheat much more easily now that I take that blood pressure medication regularly. I don't check the BP regularly, which leads into the lack of medical check-ups which leads into potentially more serious concerns. In any case, this will be the body report for this moment in time (or this year, perhaps) for posterity after the body ceases to be and perhaps for the next medical check up if I ever have one (and if I find a doctor willing to read all of this, I will love that doctor for a long long time).

So insect bites are probably the most distracting of the body issues presenting at this moment, but other skin issues are creeping up to consciousness more often. I have what I thought was an insect bite on my neck, the left back - same side as the cramping that comes when I stop long vigorous exercise or when I sit for too long in the recliner with the laptop on my lap or sometimes when I drink a cold drink while sitting in a restaurant - but it seems to be recurring and it would be odd to have the bite happen in the same spot. It, like back itching skin issues, are in areas I can not see easily (even with mirrors, which I do not have at the moment), so I am puzzled. Maybe Jackson will look for me tomorrow before lunch (not exactly a lunch topic, "ummm, take a look at my skin itches please and tell me what it looks like?, but she loves me so she'll hate it but do it... hey. better than asking her to look at some other body issues you'll read about later on if you continue reading lol).

Then there are the rhoids. Yes, hemorrhoids. At least I think they are rhoids and I've always treated them as rhoids and the last time I went to the doctor for a colonoscopy there were no worries, but that was ten years ago so... yeah, it is definitely time. No money for it though. Stress. I suspect the primary causes are diet and sitting for extended periods in the recliner and three nights a week playing cards and probably not doing the stretching and detailed personal hygiene I used to do before I moved into this place that has a cramped standing shower and bathroom with no working sink, not to mention less daily exercise in general, but I do need to adjust diet and lifestyle if I want to live longer. Unfortunately, I have no bathtub and there is no place to put a sitz bath in the bathroom and the only place to clean a portable sitz bath would be the cramped stand-up shower, but I am considering getting one. I am also considering going to the free clinic again, but that is awkward for this an requires sitting for four to five hours minimum waiting for the doctor. I don't know if they can send me anywhere for a free colonoscopy though so it might be a waste of time. Still, a priority as the rhoids (or whatever it is) is not responding to the usual treatments and getting more annoying with itching and occasional pain and rhoid-like bleeding (bright red, little, right after defecating only).

Lower back. At the time of this entry the lower back was not an issue, but shortly after writing this the lower back became the focal point of this life so I am adding this paragraph. While I experience months of no lower back pain in spite of any exercise I might do, including heavy lifting, long days of landscaping work, long days of softball practices or games, or anything else, recently some serious lower back pain laid me out, literally, curled in a fetal position. Laying flat on my back was torture. Rolling over was torture. Getting up from sitting or trying to get out of bed was a long tedious seriously painful process. You can read the back details here (since I was out of touch with this blog at the time).

Then there is the renal system, kidneys and tubes. The right one seems to be producing more stones lately. I have no idea if is related to the large water cysts found by the urologist some ten or twelve years ago, nor do I know if those cysts have gotten any larger and contribute to the bloat I feel in the abdominal cavity even when I do not over-eat and I will not know until I discipline myself to lose the thirty (fourty?) extra pounds I carry around and/or go back to doctors for the tests (ultrasound, cat scan, MRI) that can answer the internal questions, but the latter will not be happening anytime soon unless I win a lottery or get the best health insurance I've ever heard of in the next job I get and the former will not happen unless I dramatically change my lifestyle because the three nights a week cards with heavy meat eaters and the lack of daily exercise and the living without a kitchen or sink and not having funds to eat out daily for salads and healthier foods and no one with good habits caring enough to be around daily all present the procrastinating laziness and taste buds with little or no opposition to continuing the relatively poor diet and lack of daily exercise. Obvious frustration comes out in meandering babbling that does not amuse, in case you did not know that and might have wanted to. A key factor I ignore until it happens again is that every time I start dropping the weight I feel poorly and kidney stones increase and other issues pop up. The fact that it is 95 degrees and humid outside at the moment does not help either when I don't have air conditioning or ventilation in here. $120 a year for a gym membership that I might not use because I have no gym partners and it's not walking/running distance away? Maybe.

Am I back to whatever already? (reference to a degree of apathy that cares enough to itemize issues but does not care enough to make decisions about taking actions to remedy the issues, in case you were not aware of my jargon or whatever).

Right heel. Sometimes it feels like achilles and sometimes it feels like what may be the heel version of plantar fasciitis, though it does not radiate on the bottom of the foot anymore. It is just above the heel and comes after running or a lot of walking. It presents as after-pain (pain after resting) in the right heel regularly after exercise now which makes the prospect of jogging and returning to 5Ks less likely and makes the need for a gym membership all the more vital. Maybe it is aggravated by the old cleats (since I do most of my running in cleats these days).

Left Neck. As mentioned somewhere in the ramblings about body issues I seem to have gotten into today, the left rear neck muscle cramping continues to slow me down when I am aggressive with physical exercise. It requires finding a specific posture and position and resting in that position for up to fifteen minutes sometimes five is enough) to fully recover full movement without pain. While some dark recesses of my mind wonder if it is some sort of lymph or thyroid or muscle tumor, I recall that I occasionally experienced the same pain and restriction of movement in my teens and I related it to posture as when I stood up straighter and held my head up more erect (the position the pain forces to relieve it), I not only felt better physically but felt more aware mentally and more aware emotionally. So part of me sees that pain as an instinctive reminder to evolve into a more functionally aware being that comes from aligning the spine better. It's my theory and I'm sort of sticking to it.

Fingers and hands. Likely early arthritis from all the writing and hand movement in my career and leisure activities, the hands and fingers sometimes ache and cramp. Opening water bottles can be painful at times, though it has not become a contrast daily issue yet.

Left ear. The tinnitus is as bad as ever and I am starting to notice some right ear ringing as well (somewhere in my memory I remember my right ear being my weak tinnitus ear, but maybe I am just starting to lose memory cells) which may be partly due to the wax build-up which has reached that point of needing lavage. Again, no medical professional in my life which is not just due to no income or health insurance, alas, it is a sign of how isolated I live - the lack of close personal contacts because I do not trust people and have become increasingly distant from people which prevents any intimacy (in spite of all the medical professionals and Nurses I've worked with over the years and in spite of having reciprocating skills, I know no one I can ask to lavage my ears) which goes well beyond the body issues (wow, aren't we learning a whole lot about me being the body in this entry, aye?), but let's limit this entry to body analysis since we've already determined that I am not in the mood for self-analysis these days.

Scalp. The hair is thinning to a point where I will likely be balding from the top front over the next few years. The cost of hair treatments prevents any real thought of exploring them even if I did let my comfort and vanity lead me in that direction. It is probably barely noticeable to anyone who does not look close (who pays attention to me in the physical world?... don't know if anyone does anymore) as the hair is still very thick and wild, but it is definitely happening. I don't have anyone to ask about the real world pros and cons of rogaine or other over-the-counter treatments and I've heard that once those are started they must continue for life or the hair loss accelerates, so I leave the package of rogaine I impulsively purchased last year unopened on the shelf. Other than the hair loss, the scalp skin experiences similar occasional bites and irritations just like the rest of the body mentioned earlier. Also, probably due to showering less than once a day lately, I find more flaking of the face and a bit of scalp lately. This body has always shed a lot of skin, though I have not experienced dandruff in decades. The face is a lot more flaky than anywhere else. Stand-up cramped shower makes showering a chore instead of the pleasure showers always have been for me, but I must adjust. Time for some dandruff shampoo.

Muscles. The muscles are atrophying faster and regenerating slower with each passing year and in the past couple of years both processes are accelerating way faster than I'd like. Stamina sucks, both muscle and aerobic, to put it mildly. I can do something about that (whatever?). I know my standards are higher than most, being a former marathoner with memories of many consecutive sub-5 minute miles in long runs, but I doubt I could do a 15 minute mile at the moment (even in reasonable temperatures) and that saddens me beyond words when I think about it. Just as importantly, the muscles are weakening to a point where my softball play is effected and that leads to concerns about the internal muscles, most particularly the heart. The rectal muscles have shown signs of the aging and weakening as the hemorrhoids and skin discomforts are likely part of a weakening sphincter and other muscles so I am trying not to think about how the heart muscles are being affected or effected or infected by the laziness and apathy and whatever I've sunken deep into the past year or few. Jackson used to care enough to drag me to 5Ks and the gym, but she gave up on that years ago. I still believe she cares, but that's a whole other long babbly entry for another time. It is up to me to care enough, I know. Stop me before I slide any closer to self-analysis, m'ok?

Eyes. While I still read most things without strain and with minimal squinting (like there is no trouble at all reading the text in this box or most anything else online), the eyes are finally showing signs of aging and the lack of exercise is a big part of that deterioration as well. Eye muscles need regular very specific exercise too, after all. Much of my reading is online for the past decade or so which offers little in the way of the exercise reading fine print or books offers. Who cares, again, right? I think I am tiring of this body issues report.

Nose Hairs and other Sundries. Yes, the old man hair grows faster in the nose and on the ears as the years pass. I don't groom with the fine tuning I used to partly out of laziness but even more due to the lack of facilities for such grooming here. And nobody cares to mention it if they notice. This probably leads to less attractiveness in our perfect-seeking culture which adds to the isolation and loneliness, so yes, let's blame it all on the nose hairs. Lonely old nose hairs. There's a song in there somewhere.

Anyway, those are the body issues that come to mind for the moment (as inspiration to write more fades with ebery word). All the other vital and non-vital systems seem to be working well, or at least within comfortable parameters. Whether I am functioning within normal parameters I will leave for Data or someone who cares enough to dig deeper with me if that person ever comes along. It may be that I compartmentalize so well and have such a high pain tolerance that I ignore the body more or better than is wise, but then, it's my life to mess up after all. If you care that much, feel free to come by and assess me for yourself.

Please? :)

Laughing as I go, I will step back and then I see (and feel) that overall, most of the time, it feels great to be alive in this body and I really had to think about some of the details in this entry. That does not mean the details are exaggerated, it just means the deterioration of this body has not become a routine interference in the enjoyment of being physically alive most of the time. So all in all, it is still a wonderful life for the body.