still not exactly paying attention

(still) the title refers to myself as i am foolishly ignoring the reality of the stagnation i am allowing this body to experience during this time when i actually have the time to comfortably rest for long periods between exercise because i am not working... and certainly the pattern of returning to work only to lament not having the time to exercise as i would like to will return once i return to work... so what is this self-destructive tendency i've tapped into, i wonder...

being amused at myself for my foolishness does not reduce the deterioration of the body due to the aging process and laziness certainly helps that deterioration along... so before i seriously accuse myself of giving up on this physical life, perhaps i should consult a good doctor of mental illnesses... but wait, i am living as the vast majority of people live, so if the norm is this self-destructive way, is it going to be viewed as an illness?...

dang, there's goes that pesky relativity again...

narf (what the neck is narf doing here?)...

hopefully it's a wake-up call :}