duh duh doh doh doh

and the neck is a bit better most days, but the bloat remains and foolishness or hedonism, life slowly rolls playfully toward it's end in this body as the blood pressure remains high and the ssugar levels near high and other stuff too... and no exercise other than the softball several times a week and the occasional 5k and other stuff, which is more than some and i weightr less than most and still, the body is warned by the doctors and i have no time to focus on will power or wanting to live longer than today to do any different...

and how are you? :}

was better yesterday

seems to be a sick body i'm living in today... ear screaming...

hopefully it'll feel better tomorrow...

time for me

screaming through a runny nose that has me hacking enough to actually pour nighttime cough/cold medicine down my throat still is not keeping me home or increasing the sleep time so desperately needed for fighting off the bugs inside and rebuilding the frayed immune system that is allowing this cold/flu bug to take hold... no rest for the idiot desperately seeking attention and social interaction... i know it is the holiday season when social opportunities are frequent and hiding out leaves us all the more lonely all year, but sheesh... and i know he isn't trying to kill me, but he sure is not taking care of me right... somebody smack him and put me to bed for a week... preferably with an adorable nurse...

sincerely,
the body

still the same (or worse?)

feeling the blood pressure higher than it should be due to the bloat around the major organs and excess weight and sleep deprivation and now, fatigue induced head-cold symptoms... add not sleeping well to the physical discomforts and suicidal tendencies... hope i wake up and remember how to live before i die...

bloat me

so i slowed down the taste buds and cut back on portions and feel more bloated than ever (pattern continues) and i still wish there was someone outside of this body who cares as much as i do (and more, right now, cuz apathy is killing me - listen to your body talk).

bloat floats

yo yo yo dog, now digit, bloat floats...

as long as you don't burp or fart too much...

wouldn't want to sink down too low, right...

yup

"I record for myself, but publish in the hope someone might touch the words, share the thoughts, and want to know me," says the body too (and I scream, "COPYCAT! and we giggle to ourselves cuz no one else comes around)... how silent is the lonely heartbeat's sound...

meanwhile, when the first number goes over 200 it is very bad, even if the second number stays under 100 and the other number stays under 50...

what are we?

(the body is into riddles too)...

forgetting this blog

Forgetting this blog exists does not help share the experience of rebirth I soon hope to experience, but then, I may be the only one caring to be reading at the moment, for a while, or ever. The hope that the words will be worth something to someone somewhere someday continues to breath beneath the self-satisfied uploading I do, but in the end, I do this for myself too. The good news is the body is feeling better, healing, and I continue to improve workouts at the gym nightly. I rarely forget wishing someone was sharing the journey, but I am happy that I am improving my ability to experience the journey through this life again. Even if I forget to come here to record the details every day.

oh previous post, how appropriate named

yes, for just days after the euphoria of the maxed out workout, I threw the body a curve the next day with a radical shift in diet, namely pizza and then soy, and the soy may have been old and spoiled... so found myself tied up in knots by built-in body flaws, namely, the kidneys... regulating temperature and filtering out waste and not handling excessive protein well (talk about people in glass houses not throwing stones, my kidneys are glass houses that do)... a little sediment... a little blood... a UTI hurts and takes time to run it's course... this is day three... and yet, I still am getting to the gym every night... just cuz I'm crazy like that... long may I be crazy...