Sunday, November 27, 2016

Poorly Feeling

Enough so that I am here recording the physical experience in this body for posterity. In case it matters. In case I don't make it. We are feeling as poorly as I have felt in many years, I think. The mind blocks the worst experience in this life from time to time, especially when the body needs rest and healing, so perhaps this is merely the worst head cold I've felt in many heads. It has been building for the past week and presently, the sinuses wish explosion was an option. A relatively no stop flow of thin clearish mucous keeps me putting paper towel to my nose as gently as possible because I have no tissues and do not want to look like bozo the clown, especially not with an interview later this week. Hopefully I am all better for that. The throat soreness is increasing. The body feels chilled (the temperature was 97.4 at the last check-up, though I my thermometer is packed away somewhere in the storage boxes for now). The thought of mold and whether this is a reaction to being exposed to it in this environment raises a valid point in the mind as there is amply evidence of a serious mold growth in this space and I spent much more time in this environment in the past week and the heating system was turned on for the first time about a week ago... Research just leaves me feeling worse, not to mention whiny and ungrateful).

So I showered, but for some reason the hot water did not feel even close to hot this afternoon and no one has used the water for at least three or four hours. Just when I needed a seriously hot steamy sinus clearing body challenging scorcher too. So I sit wrapped in my big red robe and that warms the body a bit. It is time to search the storage for slippers not only for foot warmth, but in case the mold is throughout the carpet which is very likely. I drank chocolate milk this week, a half gallon (almost, there is a little left) and also cheese and the dairy may have contributed to the mucous. So many possibilities, but the feeling is the same. Sick. Yucky. Blah.

The question of when the exercise so often recommended by every good sense in the head waves hello and I wave back as if I take it seriously, but I act more like the happy idiot slowly (or rapidly) vegetating into the aging process. Now that softball is on hiatus for almost two months... hopefully I will stop being stupidly lazy and get out for some walk/runs and more, even though the anemia has the doctor recommending no exertion. These days, more and more, the body feels trapped, or perhaps the body feels like a trap to the mind. Is this all there is to growing old?

Positivity is not easily maintained when feeling poorly.

Try harder :)

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