owie

or is it owweeeee!... well, pain is so subjective it is challenging to quantify even for the same individual) even with hundreds of scientific questions)... it is also relative to mood and perspective and individual body conditioning and usage... for instance, i have an extremely high tolerence for pain most of the time, but certain areas of the body are much more nagging and would be much higher on the pain scale for me than others...

the shins, for instance, send much more intrusive pain into the brain than most other parts of the body... maybe i use shin muscles more than the average human... i've passed jagged kidney stones that took 30 hours to get out and torn tissue causing bleeding for that entire period... refused demerol until the 30th hour even as doctors were insisting i take it and other drugs (the demerol did put me to sleep and when i woke, the stone passed, but i am stubborn and only want drugs i choose and don't do what i am told, especially not when it comes to putting chemicals into this body)...

i've broken bones (ankle, base of tibia, fingers, knuckles, ribs {i think}, more) and refused oxycodone (don't like that drug... give me a quaalude and i'll consider it, prescribe medical marijuana and i'm all in... i mean, drugs get abused, no doubt (alcohol, anyone?... anybody crying out to outlaw ciggarettes?), and painkillers especially do and personally, i am personally opposed to putting painkillers into this body unless the pain will not let me sleep for more than 24 hours, but painkillers are needed sometimesand an individual feeling the pain should be able to decide what works best to relieve the pain... just individual body preferences)...

anyway, all that rambling on to remind myself (distraction, anyone?... friends?... romans?... countrypeople?... bueller?) that i've experience various other serious pains too... but a shin blow can distract me and nearly disable me for a few days more than other more severe pains (which is why i wear shin pads on my legs when i play softball)...

unfortunately, some balls hit just to the side or (or under) the pad (or so hard) that the shin is not protected by the pad and that is what happened this morning as i was practicing with a few people... it didn't help that the field was muddy at the pitcher's mound and even mushier in the batter's box so the right (plant) foot so shin muscles were overworked pitching and hitting and shine and foot muscles, especially right, were hurting after the first hitting cycle (the core muscles have gotten so weak in this recent coach potato phase)... nor did it help that i slept just three hours, if that much, and felt really bloated and needed to poop big time halfway through the practice (hey, tmi is in the eye of the beholder, ya know?) and there were no bathrooms around which slowed my down even more (not to mention not wanting to bend or push the core a whole lot)...

yeah, so continuing the babbling explanation of the body awakening that brings me back to this blog (which is needed now more than ever in this life), my fielding was sluggish and after about two hundred pitches (which includes two hundred bend over and pick up a ball and at least a dozen fielding plays), I decided not to bend and just kicked the back and either the shin pad was turned sideways or i turned my foot slightly or both and owweeeee! dangit!... i kept pitching and kept practicing but walking is now extremely painful... hopefully a bone is not chipped... not much swelling yet, so blood vessels are intact... maybe it's a tendon bruise... we shall see...

i am rambling in an attempt to distract the brain from the body pain signals but it is not working... no drugs, no distractions, just evelate, ice, and pain...

narf, dangit!