ouchy day

i wonder if, in the last months, weeks, days, hours, or even moments of this life, whether i will sense the impending death of this body (not October of 2013, really?) and start writing here more or will i reverse the pattern of a lifetime and actually draw away from awareness of the physical shell that contains the consciousness i usually call me... at the moment, i am feeling poorly, slept poorly, neck ache, headache, tinnitus screaming louder than ever... wondering if it is something serious inside, blood pressure growing tumor or cancerous tissue or something... or maybe just too much sitting around the wrong way... worry and thoughts could be the worse ingredient of all...

so i think i'll stop now :}