a matter of time

the brain craves stimulation more than any other part of the body and that steals time from sleep and everything else, especially long into the night... and this craving will kill this body, it is just a matter of time... but then, does any body live forever?...

last seen heading in a circular direction

out for another run, 6 laps 2358 and 7 in 28:23, tougher than the past two runs cuz of fatigue, meat fatigue as i call it, and the heat of the day too and a bit of grogginess and not having the mind just right so the stamina wasn't quite there so the first lap was a push to keep it under 4 minutes as was every other lap, but heck, still did the 6 laps in under 4 minutes a lap so sigh (i mean yay)...

still eating the meatloaf so the wight is not changing, maybe even going up... the legsa are thin as ever, but the torso continues to be blooated... next week, maybe the diet will balance better... and sleep and other stuff and gee by golly wiz, i'm awful tired now... and just lonely enough to still be awake writing, aye?...

ought to get some sleep, huh? (narf :)

second run

this week, that is... maybe the start of another increased exercise phase and maybe the start of a return to the physical me (if there is still time), but anyway... another timed lap count around the community, seven laps this time (this time?... did i even mention i timed a run/walk around the community one morning this past week?... 22 minutes and change for five and a half laps, setting my goal for the moment at under 4 minute laps for at least five laps... it was a nice cool morning and i slept until waking naturally cuz i went to bed shortly after getting home from work and while i missed writing and me time, yay for enough sleep and back to now again) with the final lap walked and the first ran and the five middle laps walked and run, or ran, whichever might work... this time i started the first lap off faster than last time (last time was 3:33 and this time it was just over 3 minutes) which, combined with the day time heat and the fatigue cuz i did not wake naturally, took it's toll so i didn't run three full laps as i did last time, but i still did the six laps in under 4 minutes per lap (23:31) which is the minimum pace i seem to have set for myself and the last lap walked in five minutes or so kept the seven laps under 30 minutes (actually 28:35 or so) so... it's a decently good day considering how long it's been since i actually was in shape by my standards (and will never actually be there again due to natural deterioration of the body due to time, but that reality does not have to be a downer as long as i once again reach maximum potential in the moment before i die... somewhere in my mind i always thought it would be this far along in life, just wish it didn't have to be, ya know?)...

well, maybe somebody knows :)

weighty thoughts

amused enough by this (e)thereal entry that probably belonged here that i bring it here, yeah, that's right, i'm bringing it...

i have a doctor's appointment on monday and kinda sorta lead him to believe i would seriously consider a limited partial almost committment to actual dietary changes to fascilitate actual weight loss and gee, i didn't do it... so do i semi-starve myself for the next five days or do i celebrate my four day weekend with the dinner i so deserve and kinda sorta want...

the decision, for the moment at least, is to eat a can of vegetable soup. a bag of light pop corn, and some raw unsalted pecans... my taste buds are moderately unimpressed and that part of my brain craving a meatball parm sub is cursing my higher functioning brain's decision...

i don't know if i'll keep this up till monday, but i did wake early and run this morning... and will a week (i've been eating light and healthy since monday) of sudden strict healthy light diet will really matter?... only if it's followed by thirty more weeks (or at least days) of the same to change the metabolism and drop the weight and then, the occasional new york hot dog with red onions (had more than a few of those sunday) and meatball parm sub and massive extra everything pizza and piles of pasta with rich sauces and and decadent chocolate mousse cake and milk shakes and and and...

this does not bode well for a week of serious change... but at least there is a start... perhaps one day of decadence a week might keep the wight loss program on track until the magic 180 (heck, i remember a lower number being the goal once upon a time) mark is reached once again...

sure, time will tell :)

lollygagging

without the gagging and come to think of it, not much lollying either, but still only limping toward the healthier change i am supposed to be making this year (is this the year i promised myself, i mean, i'm not 64 yet, nor am i losing my hair, at least not any more than i've been losing it all through this life, which is easily enough to clog any drain in less than half a dozen showers if i don't clean up behind myself, less if i scrub and brush, but still it's thicker than the average bear, and besides the point, perhaps)...

ate pretty health this week until tonight when the lobsters were in town and i chowed down... the body wanted to check in to say we could go any day now, or we could last another hundred years... life is like that...

focus for the next twenty days, will ya? :)