insanity is fattening

some time a few weeks ago or longer than that i sort of made a committment to myself in front of another person who asked me to make the committment which makes is bigger than me and usually that matters to me cuz i have not yet completely given up on life and humanity and love and all that... so i told her that i would be under 200 pounds by may 1st and i'm still pigging out and actually rising... wow, aye?... my madness is intact and my taste buds love me...

face stuffing is a full time job

yeah, it is, you know it if you've ever done it... and delicious can be found everywhere, so unless i go nowhere and say no to everything, i continue to bloat enough to not drop under 200 pounds... but i've got a couple of weeks before the imaginary deadline and sort-of promise i made myself by telling someone else i agree to do it... and besides, the body feels much better not bloated, so why in the world would i continue trading a few minutes of oral ecstasy for twenty four hours of bloat each day... rhetorical, of course... get real...

fluctuations

the rise and fall of weight and motivation and mood and spirit and so on continues, especially the so on... dropping to 201 pounds and rising to 214 and back again, mostly because i am too tired and busy to want to discipline myself to actually drop the weight, but the semi-promise was made... under 200 by may 1... so i'll take it seriously any day now...

how why anyway

the good news is that i am somehow keeping in touch with the body just about weekly... the bad news is that the news from the body is only mediocre at best, though still is mostly like better than the norms for age gender and so on... goofing off too long, somebody kick me (in the physical space where it might do some good)...