numb aches

the right arm is definitely feeling the pitching and packing and moving, sore and limited movement upward and outward... no overhand throwing at all, for sure... the rest of the body is exhausted from the move... i carried way more boxes than i should have and then moved more stuff around than i should have - but the place is comfortable and completely functional and all the boxes are out of the way yet available for unpacking with relative ease... the back is strained and sore... the feet were throbbing yesterday bit are just tired today... since i slept only an hour or less since 6am yesterday morning and only got about 5 hours sinday night and not much saturday night either, the body is screaming for sleep... tonight, sleep on the bed that i still didn't set up but will sleep on anyway... a good night's sleep should take care of everything but the arm... and i just need to go back to resting the arm... and some time this week, get back to the jog/walking, please... yes, the body says please...

lost track of track again

lost track of time, too, but it seems i was seriously derailed by expectations and disappointments and consciously or subconsciously punished the body by giving it rest all week and whatever, right?... dummy, poor sad self-pathetic dummy...

hey, remember me?... yeah, the body... just when i thought he was waking up to remember how to take care of me right, he slides back into the perplexing malaise of self-indulgence sprinkled with hedonism, apathy, distraction, hysteria, laughter, and despair that helps him forget about me... so the 5k way back on the 19th was not great... something like a 43 minute time (approximated due to the long walk up to the starting line and running speed from the 10 minute {and walkers} coral)... without any sleep the prior 24+ hours... without positivity or support, internal or external...

wah wah wah, cut the shit and get off the pot... yeah, you.

narf?

off stride

ouch to the 7, maybe 8... 15 minutes of left shin splint after the run enough so concentration on recording stats was delayed as was shoe removal... oh this hurts... 4:06.1; 3:53; 4:21.4; 4:28; 4:44... 21:32.9 poor time... 25 minutes shin finally stopped throbbing and burning... also right calf almost cramping during run...

multiple factors... imbalanced stride probably near the top of the list... poor stretching... walked most of the first lap, could feel the muscle and body fatigue, heat, and lack of air (so many cars going to work/school)... sleep broken due to the dog next door barking and howling in the middle of the night which kept me up a while... they took him inside (he was on the porch at 1-2am; which hopefully won't happen again because they know he barks and howls at anything moving when he is on the porch... their porch is ten feet from ours and about the same distance from my bed) after i slammed the porch door... fatigue... stretched, but not enough... jackson was home when i was preparing and happiness was literally under my feet for attention... tomorrow prepare in bedroom... did not take vitamin before, though prob not much of a factor... did not drink enough water... did not go to bathroom... lots of factors, but fifth day in a row and not stretching enough and warmer temps and much more car exhaust fumes (the perils of running through a community parking lot) and imbalanced stride probably biggest factors...

whatever, even if rest is necessary tomorrow, continue...

day four

as if life began again four days ago, the count continues... only 5 laps today because i thought that would be sensible so i shot for a five lap best time and got it by 9 seconds... thing is, after that other 5 lap time i continued for two more laps and set the best time for 7 laps... that was day two of this four day push... so today could have been better... though muscle fatigue is felt... whatever, just continue...

3:24.7; 4:07.5; 4:17.8; 4:12.8; 4:04.7... 20:07.5... best total 2 lap, 4 lap, and 5 lap times... also best individual 2nd and 4th lap times... brain loves numbers... ego loves bests... body benefits from improvements even though it hurts... heart seems ok with the push, though lungs and diaphragm were near their limits without lung burn or cramping... shins were ok, though left shin, ankle, and foot was straining... hamstrings a little tight, but loosen up and this is expected... while a rest day should be factored in, this push must continue...

body lament and hope

ok, three... 3:36.2; 4:10.7; 4:21.2; 4:24.7; 3:59.6; 4:52.5; 4:06.8... 29:32.7... yesterday was the personal best, or PB as some runners abbreviate it... also abbreviated as PR for personal record... i've also seen BT for best time, but what's all this distraction and confusion, huh?... oh, the stupid mind and ego...

he took me out for a jog/walk again this morning... maybe he won't let me just waste away and die... he's made it challenging though... heart is still pretty strong, but it has been through a lot of waste and risky diet and the rise and fall of weight is linked to heart attacks (brain has a lot of useful, or scary information)... muscles are definitely wasted and much more aged than before and so weak... they complain a lot... and some have failed, allowing the bone to chip and the arm to fail last year, after all... and alone, he keeps me so alone...

still, this is much better than before... i hope he keeps taking me out like this and keeps carefully pushing me to do a little bit more, a little faster, a little farther... i feel so much better than i can run a few miles and right now, i can barely slow-jog a a quarter mile... so sad... but still, he created a spreadsheet to track times and weather conditions and brain likes that... he needs to add pain levels, recovery times, and my condition... brain will tell him...

i hope he continues...

remembering

when i started this blog it was meant to be a place where the body could speak, where all the brain's rational thinking would be put aside and the physical sensations were the voice... i found that voice inconsistently, but the idea is sound and though i've lost that way, it seems, i shall look for it again...

i'd also like to get back to the point where i think 185 pounds is fat :}

so remembering is a good thing and it started while jog/walking this morning and it better continue cuz i don't want to be a grumpy old man when i get old (who's old?... pfft)... yes, so i tend to start remembering again in december, which makes sense, because it is the first month of my personal calendar year (everybody has a personal calendar year, right?) and it is my remembering month (the 1st, 7th, 8th, and 16th are celebratory memory holidays for me... we can get into my personal calendar another time in another place, but anyway)... i tend to be hopeful this time of year... but the roller coaster up and down ride i put this body through is ridiculous and dangerous to body health... so i am going to attempt to find that body voice again... it probably doesn't like me very much...

i don't like him very much...

he woke up a little this morning, but it is not much fun having a brain and consciousness that is out of touch with me... hope he wakes up and remembers that he is nothing without me... or whatever, but nothing in this life at least... take care of me better or else, ya know?...

oh yeah, and i am a boy, not an it :P

push more

yes, 3:20.9; 4:16.3; 4:05.8; 4:29.6; 4:02.9; 4:34.9: 4:14.4... 29:04.8... best time yet... finally some improvement... still mediocre at best, but doesn't suck as much when there is at least a bit of improvement... recognizing that i did not get passed the initial surge of lactic acid and breathing... there are lots of tips and advice for breathing for runners and non-runners alike... it is second nature to me from years of running but it is something i am forgetting (are you forgetting the face of your father, roland?) as well... the key is getting passed the initial lactic acid rusg and initial oxygen panic, that first out-of-breath feeling, and then maintaining a steading pace so the breathing pattern brings enough oxygen in (and gets enough carbon dioxide out) to allow a sustained pace and not a situation where breathing becomes more labored with each lap... i know what i mean better than i can explain it, the point is i was not remembering this and therefore giving in to the initial oxygen panic... dummy...

still, for sure a long long way to go and weight to drop... i am completing the first lap without stopping the last few jog/walks, which is a good sign... and while strain during the jog/walk, no shin splints and no pain during recovery, another good sign... so continue...

not daily, but

yes, and doing it for the first time without the ankle brace... the left shin splints were not nearly as bad this time... 3:37.9; 4:09.8; 4:56.5; 4:21.0; 4:27.1; 5:39.7; 4:47.9... 31:59.9 total for seven laps... mile pace: 13:58 avg mph: 4.297 avg lap: 4.329... mediocre at best, but the good news is that it is another jog/walk... i did not realize so many days went by this week... maybe that helped the shin splint issue... or maybe taking the ankle brace off did... or both... anyway, not good... i must do this more often... maybe keeping stats will help... is there an easy way to put a table in one of these blog posts?... research... dropping some weight would help for sure... continue...

left shin screaming

ok, so we are going to give the left shin more attention... i don't know if it is wearing the brace or favoring the leg or being out of shape or something else... i know it is partly favoring as i am experiencing imbalanced strains as i am running in my legs and lower back... the lower back is not pain, just the usual running strain, but it is imbalanced so my stride is imbalanced... something to pay attention to...

2.5K... this time a full five laps... pushing the time a bit 3:41.2; 4:38.1; 4:19.4; 4:53.0; 4:07.0... 21:38.7 total... still pathetic even by the standards of last year when i was dropping into the mid-30s (minutes) for a 10k... slow jog the first lap and i was feeling it in my abs - that is how out of shape they are... and that shine splint thing must be resolved... focus the stride, the breathing, and continue...

ok, two

as in two days in a row... 4:02.1; 4:28.1; 4:29.4; 4:36.2; 17:35.8 for 4 laps which might have been a 22 minute 2.5K, maybe, and this track appears on the long side of the measure so eh at least until i am doing a 20 minute 2.5K and then eh until i am doing a 40 minute 5K and crap to all the woulda could should crap... deal with real times, real conditions, real physical life (to survive)... 61 degrees, humidity 86%... dang humidity takes so much out when the muscle and lung stamina is this low... lactic acid pain during the first lap and shin splints by the third lap, i don't think this body has even been quite this out of shape and recovery time has never been so long both for muscles and for lungs... and this was after relatively decent sleep and meat protein last night... must change habits... wah wah wah... do it again tomorrow or shadup...

...

come on man

yeah, so... 6:00.6; 5:29.7; 3:24.1; 4:15.0... walked the first two with jackson, my roommate, who has let herself get into sad shape and we are trying to motivate each other to exercise more... the second lap she did the best she could jog/walking... i took off for the third lap trying to do two laps in the time she was doing one and though i didn't catch her, i did feel ok and could probably have gotten the last lap under 4 minutes but let up so as not to push too hard as i am at an injury prone stage being i've been so very lazy for a while now...

hopefully i will do it again tomorrow...