Lighten Up

Yes, the dietary plan is lighten up to give the digestive tract an opportunity to heal again. It can't be good to have feces mix with the blood stream every day. The challenges, positive (moving, new roommate, new people, new cleaner space, more space) and not so positive (moving, unknown new roommates, kids, cramped bedroom and bathroom space, lack of privacy, moving expenses, double rent expenses, new tires expenses, holiday expenses {financial stressors suck and were never much mind for me until age and lack of retirement possibilities hit me in the face like a ton of bricks}, continued loneliness, laziness, procrastination, self-pity, depression, stupidity, and the horrible state of humanity, just to mention a few not so positives), have the body stress levels high and did I mention the effect (or affect) of lack of exercise or de-stressing activities and let's not forget (how can I?) the recurrence of the digestive bleeding and pain with every bowel movement.

So how was your day?

Narf :)

The Bleeding Returns

Why not make t the headline, it is the dominant feature of the day so far and I really do need to keep track of it, so I even mentioned it in the daily blog. This blog is probably better for the sensitivities of humanity who are fond of fart jokes but not fond of digestive illnesses, so the details will go here. This body has it's challenges in spite of feeling energetic, youthful, and wonderful most of the time.

I did not use any ointment or jelly or cream today and went to the bathroom and sure enough, the itching, which had subsided after increasing on and off for most of the week turned into pain as the skin tore off and the anus bled. Back to the full regime of two medications and petroleum jelly lube before defecating. Also, additional laxatives and lower calories, minimal for a few days and mostly liquid diet after tomorrow (one more holiday dinner to attend, a fried fish place, but I will do my best to go light).

I have pizza and cheese-loaded eggplant parmesan that I will need to re-freeze for now and hope for the best when it is re-cooked. I was hoping the cycle would not return when I ate some solid foods and slowed on the topical meds and laxatives, but it returned and I can only hope I can catch it before it flares into a multi-week (or longer) pain in the ass (alas, that is what it is) that makes defecating excruciatingly unwanted.

I also reduced exercise and put on a few pounds, so the body is teaching me to stop doing that. I am going to do my best to get an elliptical machine for the new place I will be moving into over the next 30 days. I must do my best to find the motivation to use the work gym more often. I must cut the calories again.

Doctors don't seem to be able to help. I must get back on the regime I figured out and hope the daily laxatives do not do too much long term damage and don't take too many years off this life.

So how are you? :}

Pigged-Out Weekend

Yes, so many calories. Tonight a pound of spaghetti, my way, finished the weekend. So much food I did not even record it all in the food blog. Still fitting into the 34 pants and just over 180 pounds and setting myself up for a fat holiday, so no more please. At least not until Thursday lol. Th itching is coming and going and responding to the treatment, so I must get more sleep, wash ore, put medication on more, sit less, and eat lighter. Still on the laxatives and probably will be a while longer.

Sleep.

Still 180

I finally remembered to add this entry, which means I am confident enough to bring this process into consciousness (welcome to the method to my madness) and perhaps even expound a bit. I've been maintaining 180 pounds for a while now and had to buy more belts and exchange the new 36 waist pants for 34 inch waist pant and those are starting to be too big as well. I can wear 32 inch waist pants now. I still want to get to 170, but the maintenance of 180 is important too. I'm running faster (they are not pinch running for me all the time anymore) and my stamina is improving (though I still need to get to the gym more often). The itch is back after a few weeks of no itch or pain and it seems likely it is due to increased carbs and increased sitting, dangit. I am in the process of medicating with the hope of preventing the itching from become painful and spiraling into the cycle of split fissures, bleeding, and hemorrhoids. Time will tell.

Good news, not good news, continue...

Allowing The Food In

Instead of continuing toward the 170 mark, I ate food today. That is, I ate today. No exercise. That's all.

The Never Ending Short Story

Not this one, cuz it stopped being short somewhere along the way. More likely the current brief daily blog, but be that as it may or may not be (should you care beyond here), I just returned from the gym. Sixty minutes on the elliptical which said I did 6.94 miles. 3.3 miles at the thirty minute mark. While I don't trust the accuracy and have not maintained the stats enough for comparisons, 588 calories. After a 5 minute cool down, 7.32 miles and 631 calories. Level 7 for the first 3 minutes, then level 2 until the 53 minute mark, then Level 1. 8 rpm for the last 3 minutes, 9 rpm for the last minute, peaking at 12 rpm for the final ten seconds. Continuously increasing speed to the last step and the best news is I worked all day, but still felt like I could play ball or even go another hour. Two hundred calories all day. No cramps, no wooziness, Twelve hours sleep last night brought me back to this. After 60 ounces of water, 179.6 on the digital and 181 on the beam balance. I weigh in at the primary doctor tomorrow and hope for under 180 on her beam balance scale with cloths on. There's always hope :)

It matters to me.

After A Pause

No applause. Grins, though. Acceptance does that, no matter how bad it gets. A few days of cutting back calories lead to accepting an invitation to a friend's place where he insists on trying to make one feel guilty, uncooperative, and difficult to please just because I want fewer calories than he is serving and I don't want him serving portions to my plate. Portion control is even more important than what you eat, but he takes my choices to lose weight as a personal affront and whines to everyone about how difficult I am to serve. So I ate more calories than I had all week, but I was 174.6 before I left so whatever. More of the same at another friend tomorrow, then a few days of near fast and I may be back under 175. Find more in the food blog, which has almost become a weight loss blog, which is so boringly un-foodie lol.

I have not been getting to the gym.

Boo me.