Hey 180

I am not quite ready to leave the 180 mark behind, but the scale at the house read 179 this morning and the scale at the supermarket read 183 fully clothed in the afternoon so I am approaching the milestone of dropping under 180 for good (until and unless I get stupid again, which could be the death of me, but I will eat chocolate and frosting and pasta and pizza and cheeseburgers and ice cream and fudge and more again someday. In moderation, as they say, whoever they might be. The healing is not going as well as usual and next week could be a painful experience as I plan on eating real food most days as I play in a week long softball tournament out of town and will be staying in a room and sharing a bathroom with three or four other guys and chauffeuring at least one of them around all week. Not a whole lot of privacy to wipe my ass, to be blunt.

At the fields my only alternative may be filthy out-houses so I best travel with my wipes and ointments in my pocket as I wander around all day. Balancing magnesium citrate and stool softeners with real food and not too many calories will be a trip and I dearly hope I do not have to rush off the field. I best have wash clothes, foam soaps, sanitary pads, and chance of clothes ready as well. Diaper? I haven't gone there yet, but I am considering buying and bringing some. The title might as well be referring to age, not weight. What a drag it is getting on. A smelly drag at times. Will anyone stay awake with me?

Who's gonna love me when I'm old?

Yay, Ouch, Itch

With today and yesterday totaling 620 calories combined, the scale read 180.8. Tomorrow the scale might read in the 170s for the first time in years and I feel great, except for the nether regions which cry out with burning pain upon every bowl movement and itch like crazy from time to time. Balls itching, asshole burning, tired of not finding the remedy with any doctor. The balls itching is new and started in spite of starting baby powder. Tried and true remedies (baby powder was always my go-to) and doctor recommended remedies are simply not working. The maladies bounce from fissures to yeast infection to hemorrhoids to fungal infection to who knows what. Pain, itching, no medication is working and it's just gotten progressively worse over the last three years. Medical science sucks. It is definitely helping me lose weight as I dread another bowel movement this week.

So how are you?

Aversion Therapy

Tat is what my bowel movements have become. Just as there is a muscle group on the left side of my neck that demands better posture when I slough for too long or too much, there is now a muscle group, a bunch of cells, and who knows what else in my anal area that is demanding I eat better, lose weight, and possible give up the uninhibited freedom of choice my taste buds and mind has had all through the decades in this life. No more two pounds of pistachios or m&ms or half gallon of ice cream or twenty ounce steak or half pound double bacon triple cheese burgers or four to six slices of 18 inch pizza with extra cheese and assorted toppings or cookies dipped in icing or and real thick whipped cream ... what is this, the funeral for food blog?

Apparently that is why they call it an asshole.

Digestive Wonk

The digestive system is all sorts of wonky. Pasta and protein, even with salad and in moderation, just turned into a nightmare to pass and the exit is raw and sore again. I think I will keep solid food to a minimum again this week, which was the goal for weight loss anyway, but the pain is a wonderful incentive. I wonder what the week out of town at the softball tournament will be like. I wonder if I will have an leak or explosion on the field. A wonky digestive system really sucks. The regular food and weight gain was definitely not a good move, but I am back down in the mid to low 180s according to the very wonky house scale. I haven't been to the gym in a couple of weeks, another big mistake. The ab muscles are so weak, the flatness that used to come when I dropped below 190 is not there. The full blown hernia (if a double hernia is two sets of abs, what's it called when all the abs are blown out?... the doctor says nothing to worry about, but should I be doing sit ups, crunches, and other exercise with when the ridge of abs pops out a few inches every time I sit up?). Am I whining? lol. Sigh.

So anyway, sub-180 by next Monday, maybe. How are you?

Good Softball Workout

Last week was even more intense and I was social and ate eighteen wings and spent $29 for lunch and then ate dinner at dinner time here and I am trying to wrap my head around getting rededicated to seriously strict calorie reduction this week. I want to enjoy the splurge of restaurant food (won't always be my choice) next week for the six days I'll be gone, so this week, hard core. Getting to the gym would be a wise move. The bathroom is still not my friend as poops have gotten closer to normal in texture, but the pain continues. I didn't follow up on the doctors because they don't seem to be helping. I stopped the meds completely and returned to baby powder and we shall see how the body reacts. Life continues, alone.

In case it matters.

More Calories, Less Movement

Two full meals today, a lot more food in one day than mos, maybe the most in one day since the start of the calorie cutting in May. Most of the day was spent sitting in a meeting, so less exercise than most days. A large painful bowel movement after an evening nap. Itchies on the ankles and feet again. The water is not hot enough to help the feet either. I miss hot water so much. Bites or reaction to eating carbs this week? The itching scrotal sack is not as bad as it was earlier in the week, the new treatment is hH-suppository, zinc oxide ointment on the anus, and baby powder everywhere else.

Continue.

Back At The Foundry

Or something like that... The weight is fluctuating in the 180s this week, or is it longer. I am starting to have cravings again and doing less exercise because softball is paused and I am not motivating myself to get to the gym. Saturday and Sunday softball is still there, but no weekday exercise is not going to get me down under 180. The body has lost enough muscle from lack of serious workouts to still have a belly and bloat above 180 so the goal now is 175 and we shall see where we go from there. Under 180 before leaving for Tampa is another goal as I will likely eat a lot of calories during the week in Tampa.

I am missing pasta something seriously craving level. I might need to cave in and have some more than the little bits I've had, like Vegetarian Vegetable soup tonight. The sweet potatoes this week just did not do it. Yesterday was 420 calories of protein drinks. Today was 300 calories of protein drinks and a can of corn, 175 calories, and I think I may have two more 100 calorie protein drinks to satisfy hunger before I get to sleep tonight. The missing piece is exercise.

So keep repeating it.

Do it.

Still Moving

Definitely losing muscle as I still have some bloat as I approach 180. The scale read 181.6. The house scale, which sucks as it read 191.6 last night. I did drink a lot playing ball for 3 hours. Sprinting bases for the first half hour almost put me down. I had to recover in the shade for ten minutes before I could continue. I then played more than two hours without a hitch, so I learned to push to the limit and recover, necessary adjustments to continue playing ball mid-day in Florida in August. I felt great, tired great, but great.

I rested the rest of the day. Pooping was extremely painful and dark and loose and stinky like C.Diff poop. Publix Supermarkets pharmacy screwed me. They double charged me, changed the subscription the doctor ordered, and prevented the antibiotic regime ordered from running it's course. The emergency room and three doctors who would not listen to me when I told them I would get C.Diff again if they prescribed Keflex gave me the C.Diff by insisting I take Keflex again. Next the GI doctor is going to tell me I need a fecal transplant. Fuck the medical profession.

Meanwhile...

So Anyway...

So I am microwaving onions and peppers and garlic and spices and after about seventeen minutes I'll add shrimp and have a foolish middle of the night feast and probably need the potty tomorrow at an inopportune time when I was doing so well on the starvation diet. The PBD or the Painful Buttocks Diet, if you want to get technical. It was funnier this afternoon when the brain was awake and thinking more clearly about anagrams and words and stuff. It won't be that many calories, but going to sleep right after and only sleeping a few hours and having a stand-up exercise tomorrow and once again this is the body moaning about the lack of will power tonight. Hey, I could be chowing down pasta and pizza and all sorts of fats and oils and carbs and cheeses and more.

A few hundred calories Wednesday, a few hundred calories Thursday, it's Friday now and I'll start with a few hundred more calories. So anyway, anybody paying any attentton anyway?

Like whatever, right? :)

Cheap Scale

Yeah, so I was 185.7 in underwear this morning and I drank two protein drinks and a veggie drink for 300 calories and a couple of waters all day and I was 191.2 fully clothes when I got home from work and I was 185.5 when I stripped down to underwear, but if I shifted my weight I was 187, 188, and 189 and could probably find that 190 mark if I shifted more. So I really can't record that I am officially under 190 until I find an accurate and consistent scale. Even the two scales at the gym provide two different weights and the doctor's offices as well. Anyway, I have a 160 calorie protein drink next to me and that's all I'm going to have tonight, I hope. I simply must let myself fall asleep when sleep comes. That makes sense because tomorrow is another 5:30 AM wake up call. Not much exercise today, but gearing up for a bigger meal for the weekend and more exercise.

One day maybe I'll but an accurate scale.

Narf :)

Thoughts of Food

Breakfast was six slices of fat free turkey with a slice of cheese I’m not sure if the cheese was Velveeta or 2%. Two protein drinks, one 160 cal the other 100 cal finished off in the morning meal. This is what I planned to do yesterday but got sidetracked. I hoped to do this more often in the morning meal get morning exercise eat a lunch, get more exercise then get to the gym in the evening, and have very light meal after work. The last 10 to 15 pounds will be more challenging than the first 40. It is hard to believe I was almost to 230 lbs or more earlier this year. Dinner was an onion, peppers, cheese, and spices egg white scramble. You can see it here.

I miss Italian food the most. And chocolate. And massive buffets. And cheeseburgers. And bread in general. And ... ha ha a lot more. Once I am under 180 I will determine if I will go further and then whatever I eat will be smaller portions I hope LOL. I would really rather not go through this sort of strict calorie cutting again. Though I still am enjoying the food I am eating because I can compromise and have things I really love that have few calories. Thank goodness I love onions and other veggies but especially onions which are one of my favorite foods cooked almost anyway so even starts of softened and spiced in the microwave is delicious for me and that makes anything I throw into it yummy too.

Think of the body too, dangit. Exercise more.

Must Change Meal Times

Today I had two protein drinks for lunch (360 calories) and then, about 7 PM, I had about 1000 calories, mostly pulled pork. Too much at once, too much too late, both for the weight loss, the low energy day, and the digestive system. The good news is another low calorie day. The bad news is another very painful sticky bloody poop. Big one too. I didn't find time to call the doctors today. Must find time tomorrow. 187.2 on the house scale this morning and this evening before eating. I must pack some actual lunch and have the protein drinks for dinner, burn more energy during the day, and then I'll have the energy to add the gym into the mix after work. Just need to shower more, a challenge here, but must. Must. Definitely must.

Gonna get to under 180 this time.

Keeping In Touch

Keeping in touch here in this blog would help the body keep in touch with itself and that would be a be a good, smart, wise, seriously life-sustaining thing to do. So maybe this time. Today the body was pushed hard and I feel it, mostly good, muscles recovering. I ate a little fat and sugars as wings for lunch. Protein drinks at softball practice, a couple later in the day, and and and shrimp with some mayo dip for dinner. Unfortunately the pain in the ass and the itching (which may or may not have a few different causes) continues and all I can do is call the doctors again tomorrow. C.Diff, hemorrhoids, yeast infection... those are the current diagnoses but the treatments have not worked. It's really not been a fun year for the ass.

The rest of me is having lots of fun though.

Good Morning 187

The scale of unknown reliability in the living room here read 187.7 this morning in underwear before drinking after urinating. Yesterday cutting back on calories seems to have gotten the weight loss program back on track. Some time between the last uploaded entry and today, much happened, but the title of this entry refers to the body weight as a calorie-counting weight loss regimen started [insert approximate date] a couple or few months back after the new primary care doctor and I reviewed lab results and the successful plunge under 190 pounds this past week demonstrates the seriousness with which I am endeavoring to accomplish the weight reduction goal I set for myself.

It is time I updated this blog again, so entries will likely be inserted later.

For now, softball.