The daily blog might gross the weak out tonight, so be warned, beware, and be prepared. I actually tore myself a new asshole today. I stayed home from work until mid-afternoon because it took all morning to pass the poop. No poop for two days, I should ave known. I set myself up for serious pain. Even with four or five suppositories and finger manipulation there was lots of blood. I hope I am not in for weeks (months?) of serious pain and all that comes with the bleeding and swelling and skin issues. The medication regime I finally figured out (partially by accident and without any professional medical help at all, thanks docs) has been working great for months, but I tore up all the healing I did this morning. Kinda numb now, and no appetite. I reaffirm that I will not be eating tonight and I will have only liquids for at least a few days, maybe until I have a painless poop, which might be weeks. Be optimistic.
I need a standing desk.
Stop laughing, it's only funny if you love me. Feel free to laugh with me if you do. Wouldn't mind you letting me know, I mean, the worst may be over for now and I sure could use a hug and some love. I bought $40 worth of digestive system medications. Crossed the line and bought lidocaine. I will mix a dab into the calmoseptine and see what happens. I refilled the stock of laxatives and hemerrhoid suppositories. I haven't used one of those much in the past couple of months since figuring out the laxative/creme/ointment treatment. They (the rhoids) expanded considerably in the last few weeks due to diet, lack of exercise, and sitting way too much (so why am I sitting now?), though the calmo and massage has helped reduce them. Until today. The food monster took over and the body pain the price.
This entry is, I hope, the start of taking body health more seriously again.
In case it matters.
Thursday, February 28, 2019
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