must focus on me

waking to help jackson wake up and start her day with energy backfired on me as after an hour just to get her out of bed and then an hour of trying to motivate her to take and walk and exercise and then an hour of wondering how to do a better job of getting her to do what she says she really wants to do (wake up early, exercise, get work done, and most of all focus on getting these and other things done), i somehow lost my focus and interest in doing a speed walk... partly due to my back stiffening up and partly due to the fact that i had two softball games to play tonight and partly because i was disillusioned amd partly because i am empathic and absorb energy levels around me, i skipped another day...

tonight, however, i excelled at softball... pitching great (only one non-intentional walk in two games), hitting great (5 for 6 in two games, five rbi, 4 runs), fielding very good (just twice my arm got in the way of a throw to first from the third base side), also pinch ran three times and scored all three times... running better, faster, with less fatigue... so two weeks of the speed walking definitely has results already and i am not even getting serious about pacing and sprint work... or jogging or running., for that matter... so even though i skipped the morning, good news today...

continue...

tentative re-start

still some definite stiffness in all leg muscles and lower back muscles... pain in lower leg muscles even at a slightly slower pace (could be the slightly slower pace was asking more from the lower leg muscles)... completeted five laps... could have gone further and probably would have walked through the lower leg pain, but the back needs to be ok for two softball games tomorrow and one on sunday, so no pushing... 34:33 total time... lap times: 7:00, 6:53, 6:54, 6:58, 6:46... 2.87 miles total distance... 12:02 average mile time... 5.0 mph average speed... max speed 12.2 mph... lap speeds 4,4, 5.1, 5.0, 5.0, 5.4 mph...

though i remind myself that the gps based measurements are not as precise as i'd like (based on fluctuations between workout measurements... for instance, the first lap distance is always less than most others... today it was .52 miles... second lap was .58 miles, third lap .58, 4th lap .58, fifth lap .61... lap speed obviously affects distance measured even though i am walking the same sidewalk path)... so this thing is telling me that i can walk a 5K in under 40 minutes without a struggle... that would be surprising based on the 5Ks i've run/walked in the past two years, but we shall see when i do my next 5K... none planned, but there is a 4th of july 5K coming up i should remember to check out...

no pain with movement anywhere, just some stiffness... so it may be mostly stiffness after sitting causing the extreme back pain... hopefully that is passing... there will be a bit more sitting today than there was yesterday (maybe ten minutes in 10 hours yesterday), so we shall see if the pain is passing or increasing or decreasing throughout the day...

be careful moving today and continue...

resting the back, sort of

ok, so i skipped two mornings because the back said so and today it's much better, though still quite uncooperative when i want to stand up... once standing i walk fine and can run if i want to... i've been on my feet walking around, cooking, doing things around the house for the last eight hours and while there's mild stiffness, it's nothing too far out of the ordinary for standing and walking eight hours without sitting... i intend to be back to the speed walking (i figured it was accurate to call a 5mph walk a speed walk, it seems less pretentious than power walk, ya know?)... i suppose i ought to read up on it to avoid injury and know the best ways and equipment and so on)... anyway, until i start jogging again, i shall continue (there's always hope)...

the shoulder is not quite ready for upper body work but i must push the physical therapy (careful stretching and exercising the muscles) cuz the arm pain now is likely more due to atrophy and also lesions and/or inflammation due to the age of the muscles and bones... hopefully it's not becoming bursitis or any of the other itises... ah, the brain still plays like the body is a teenager... shhhh, don't tell lol lam...

don't let it stop

yes... in spite of waking with stiff muscles and a cramping lumbar issue that makes it very painful to go from sitting to standing and can actually immobilize me if i try to get up too quickly or move the wrong way, i went out walking anyway... while walking the back loosened up enough to keep up a reasonable pace, but no actually running... the belly puts much stress on the lumbar so dropping the belly is essential so exercise is essential, but carefully... and rest between exercise...

the tracker app says 60:53 for nine laps... each of the laps 6:47; 6:58; 7:03; 6:57; 6:51; 6:43; 6:35; 6:24; 6:30... total distance 4.88 miles... average speed 4.8 mph, fastest lap 5.0 mph... max speed 7.0 mph... 462 calories... average mile pace 12:28...

continue, carefully...

back on track

walking, yes indeed... and yes, hoping, always hoping... but musical fantasies and wishes and hopes aside, starting almost 24 hours earlier than last week after an almost 2 day break for rest and decadence (actually just skipped one night), i went back out for a morning walk... sun was up this time, which was different... air temps cooler (63 degrees with 84% humidity) though... according to the new tracker app, which definitely has it's gps flaws, the lap times were 6:23; 6:33; 6:29; 6:21; 6:30; 7:08; 6:35; 6:10... so total 52:13 for 8 laps... and it says i did 4.43 miles and averaged 5.1 mph with the fastest lap 5.6 mph... other data it provides includes 11:48 average mile time, 13.5 mph max speed... 493 calories burned...

the tracker has a lot to offer but it will take a bit of getting used to... stepping a few yards to the left or the right during the walk (like out into the street to avoid dog walkers) seems to change the distance measured and the speed so the shortest times and not recorded as the fastest laps... but it's not like i'm training for the olympics or trying to qualify for a world record, right?...

continue, dangit...

changing patterns

so in the past however many hours i slept on and off and feel somewhat refreshed, i did not exercise, and i ate canned pasta and frozen meatballs and melted processed cheeses and more (ketchup and butter spread, of course) and processed meats and chocolate milk... it is quite simply amazing what can happen in a bowl when ingredients, even canned and pre-processed ingredients, are microwaved for ten or fifteen minutes... yeah, amazing, right... i did not do the sweat-shower and did not do anything to cause excessive perspiration, however i did cut water intake from over a gallon a day to about a quart a day... no caffeine though... no soda (high sugar content in chocolate milk though)... sleep has been broken into shorter cycles and a 24+ hour no sleep period occurred in the past 48 hours... the body results seem repeatable...

the kidneys produced the reddish granular sedimentary stuff that at best tickles the urethra, creates a relatively constant sensation of needing to urinate, and causes discomfort in the kidneys and along the path to the urethra and at worst hurts like hell as the larger granules attempt to pass through the tube... other symptoms include a runny nose, which has occurred, and headaches, body aches, stomach aches, diarrhea, nausea, and hemorrhoids, which have not occurred (at least not yet)...

and another

and the phone as a stopwatch is not working... mot anything the phone is doing, just the buttons are on the screen and tonight without the dog to distract me, i still managed to press the reset button during the semi-sprint to the end of the fifth lap... that lead me to decide to do no more laps and also to re-evaluate the value of a $100+ purchase of a gps wrist watch that would be out of the way, monitor my heart rate, keep time, and tell me how far i walked/jogged/ran...

five laps (estimated) in 6:19, 6:14, 6:10, 6:11, 5:45... breathing 4-4 for the first 3 laps, 3-3 the last 2 laps, including the brief sprint... 72 degrees, 94% humidity... improvement and i could have kept an under 7 minute pace for another five laps, so the muscle memories and stamina are noticing i am moving in a forward direction again... i stopped not just cuz of the phone but also because i do have two softball games tonight and i do not want to overdo the leg muscles in the first week (especially in case i don't sleep much today)...

so if i keep this up for the rest of the month the goal shall be sub 30 minutes for 5 laps and soon after, sub 60 minutes for 10 laps... enough about goals (wash them right out of the head) because there is a long history of stopping before i really get started (i am not actually jogging yet, after all... in fact, for my future self-shame, the only jog tonight was the brief sprint from the entrance to the community to the first turn in the sidewalk where i stop and head home)... still, improvement and continuing so... please continue...

almost four

i did walk a long walk (an hour and a half) but did not push the pace cuz harpo was with me... he asked to go for a walk so instead of my fast walk around the community we took a slightly more leisurely walk (up to 434 and back here)... so i can count this as a fourth night, especially since i played two games of softball and ran around the bases a few times and pitched both games and swung the bat a few dozen times (at least a couple of dozen to warm up) and so... continue...

third night

so i actually have not opened the run log spreadsheet since january 17th... i have walk/run since then and some are probably in this body blog, but i just completely forgot... lost touch... vegetated that part of my brain... and that goes for this body blog too, alas... not recording the exercise is a sign that i am not taking the exercise seriously... dangit... fricking fracking dangit too... anyway, night three in a row of putting on the running clothes and heading out for a walk went ok... and fan blowing on the left shoulder/neck or whatever, thirty minutes after it at this computer the cramping starts again... just the left neck so far, whatever it is... still, third night of exercise with all (or most) of the excuses staring me down i still went out and did six laps, this is a good thing... now if i do this and improve each week for a year, maybe i'll live another few decades... or maybe i'll die this year trying to live another few decades... sardonic or morbid, it's one of those dry senses of humor... unfortunately, the times are estimated because the dog ate the stopwatch... ok, not really, but sorta...

meanwhile, the body says come on man, what's up with the belly... it still feels bloated and all i've eaten in two days is two cans of soup, two yogurts, about two ounces of pasta, and two 100 calorie bags of popcorn... pooping just fine, so it's certainly not constipation... so maybe i do have a few tumors growing inside the abdomen, huh?... could be the kidneys are five times their normal size... or maybe it's just gonna take weeks to drop the bloat (it used to take just a few days and most of this life, a day... sheesh, i have let the body bloat up the past years... ridiculous stupidity or something growing inside, time will tell... no, i don't think i'm pregnant...

estimated times tonight due to a doggie glitch, dangit... so six laps in 39:59... 6:49; 7:07; 6:50; 6:47; 6:04; 6:22... yeah, continue...

healthier diet, sort of

reducing caffeine to almost nil in the past few weeks... ordering water with lemon when i eat out (have to have some sort of social life even if it is not in the budget) and not buying caffeine for softball games either... felt the fatigue this sunday, but the 90 plus degree heat and broken sleep probably had more to do with it than caffeine loss... a fresh food natural diet would be better than the canned stuff, but the budget must be maintained these days as i am paying for two and not working, so balance the canned stuff and hope for the best... must increase salads... the good news is no caffeine headache and hopefully the kick start of exercise will not bring those on... balance, diet, healthy, focus, and so on...

more walk/run tonight?... we shall see...

another day two

actually night two as i am taking advantage of the free time i enjoy these days by exercising at night... and six laps in 39:13.1... 6:29.4; 6:34.1; 6:28.6; 6:32.9; 6:08.2; 6:59.9... ate a can of vegetarian soup and a pack of instant oatmeal and a 4 ounce yogurt today... balanced, but that is all the calories i wanted to take in... got to reduce the body mass as the 30+ pounds i am over my healthy weight is all in the body... topped 220 in the past few weeks, which is sloppy lazy unhealthy and feeling like crap land... still running and playing softball well, but just too much belly for comfort...

the humidity was 96% out there so even 70 degrees seemed somewhat thick for breathing, but persevere i did anyway... and as i was mostly walking, no shin splint or other pains, just the usual strains... 30 minutes after though the left neck was cramping something fierce, maybe from the chill in the house, maybe it's not just muscle (thyroid?) and who knows... enough to have me leave the typing here and stretch elsewhere...

please continue...

returning from laziness?

there's always hope... stepping away from jackson's lack of drive to exercise (sliding into the energy level of those closest to me is an old habit that needs to stop for now as i need to be a lot more exercise-active daily than anyone in daily life nearby) and using the external influences as an excuse is really so old, it should have dead a thousand times over (and hopefully will this time before it kills me... yeah, the body says so)... must reenergize, must refocus, must return to my energy level again (or as close as this body can stand it now)... so i've carved out a lap around this community that gives me a time that will make me quite happy if it was a mile lap so the times now are not so depressing (but it's likely less than half a mile, in fact, might be more like three tenths of a mile, so we won't mention this particular delusion until we get the lap down under 4 minutes and then maybe we'll reassess reality, m'ok?)...

yeah, so in 71 degrees with 94% humidity, ten laps in 65:52.2... 6:41.8; 6:45.6; 6:38.8; 6:44.6; 6:04.7; 6:47.5; 6:42.1; 6:32.7; 6:57.1; 5:55.4... please continue...

yes, better week

walked with a touch of jogging an almost 5k (about three miles or so i believe it is three times around crane's roost, a park nearby) for a charity walk to promote children's mental health and felt good after... continued the water intake until a couple of days ago and the last few days i've had milk and some caffeine, but very little caffeine... sugar the past two days in desserts... ate meat and all sorts of foods this week... all seems to be status quo, that is, i know my kidneys are there and have stones in them and bubbles of sort, but no extra pain, no signs of infection, and minimal signs of stones... so yay...

tinnitus continues as the constant companion for my left ear... left neck aches continue on and off almost daily... right bicep continuing to improve and can throw overhand very gingerly (still not throwing overhand in games... the arm aches after pitching, but less than last week)... range of motion continues to improve... still standing most of the time and laying down when not standing... sitting only when visiting friends or eating out... liking this minimal sitting thing... the rhoid or pollup thing comes and goes, occasional irritation but no blood or pain... overall fatigue level is a bit higher than in past years at times, yet simultaneously feel more rested than i've been in more than a decade...

and that's the latest news from the body... good news, mostly :)

maybe it's the garllic

and the extra water... but anyway, as the weekend continued the blood was less and the healing appears to be happening, the infection seems to be fading... played softball last night and while fatigue and body stress was evident, all went well and that is a big yay... resting is good, but so is the standing and i am going to do a lot more standing (set up the laptop on a box so i can type standing) and walking every day, like many hours more than i have been doing... that will hopefully help the rhoid too, which may be a pollup and not a rhoid as it is sticking around and coming and going and not bleeding... also have been consuming garlic in large quantities in gelcaps and in food and the natural antibiotic properties may be helping the body fight the infection... anyway, good news, i'm not dead yet :)

stay strong :)

and today, there's more

more blood in the urine, that is... passed a clot late last night and the darkness of the urine is suggesting a tear in the tubing or even an infection, the latter being supported by the feeling of infection in the body the past day or two and the overall kidney and digestive issues going on for a couple of weeks now... definitely not fun and if i had health insurance (broken record, huh?), i'd probably head to a doctor for a urinalysis and maybe even blood work and i would even consider antibiotics, but for now, i muddle through... hopefully there will not be a sudden flare up emergency during the off hours when the cheaper clinics are closed... think positive, except for the blahs and the ehs and the discomfort and the occasional pains, i seem to be surviving... it's the duration that has me a bit perturbed... not to mention to lingering rhoids (though the standing definitely seems to be helping back there, the increase in exercise and changes in diet and tapping into the fat stores is probably giving the kidneys and liver fits)... and a bit of a headache too... wonder if i have a fever... no clue where my thermometer might be... might be a good day to unpack and sort through all the bathroom boxes and bags, aye?... it really is time for a complete check up, but...

so still doing the standing thing, that is, not sitting... i mean, if i was working i'd be standing and walking a lot, so it makes sense to get up, stand up, and walk around a lot... and still eating healthier... no sugar-waters (soda, pop, juice, etc), light on the spices, lean foods, and smaller portions, mostly... come on body, adjust to the change (and survive, survival would be good too :)

cycling symptoms

so i ate lighter and rested and drank lots of water and no soda for a few days and it's another evening of granular kidney stones so i am not sure what's causing them... and one is stuck so there's a constant feeling of needing to pee even though i am all peed out... and some blood cuz every now and then the granules slice some tissue and then the itching and healing and burning and all that good stuff... bodies aren't always pretty, ya know?... and the gas...

yeah, i know, real bad timing all this happening when i am not working and don't have health insurance and am hoping nothing is seriously going on that should be checked out now instead of later when i am working with health insurance again... it's a gamble... but i am hitting the ball better and running better and feeling fine playing ball and so on, so whatever is going on in the body it is not hurting the overall performance... yeah, that's the justification for not going to the medical profession...

paging dr. house :}